We are so small, so insignificant, in the whole of existence, and yet so very arrogant. It takes things like this to show us our true place in the world, and yet we find ways to ignore the truth, focusing instead on the individual human condition.
I guess it is my job to remember.
I am speaking of the largest single natural disaster of my lifetime, and perhaps several before me. So far the human life toll is over 80,000 in eleven countries, and rising. The worst is yet to come too- the disease, the potential starvation, the sheer trauma of the happening.
One huge earthquake, causing one gigantic wave, has laid waste to thousands of years of culture, and even more people's lives. We have lived for so many decades with relative quiet across the face of the planet, we have forgotten that SHE is in charge, not us. We cannot stop the hurricanes. We cannot stop the floods, or blizzards, or draughts, and yet our arrogance grows. We abuse the one world we have to call home, and are startled when she strikes back. We think it "an act of god," failing to understand that any living thing will fight for its life, even a planet.
She may not move on our time scale, may not acknowledge the clocks we live by, but she is alive, in every sense. Just like any animal covered by an infestation, she seeks ways to be rid of , or at least control the creatures on her skin.
That's what we are. A group of two legged fleas, growing out of control, using our host up at an alarming rate, and paying no heed to the fact that there is no place to jump off to when we have done her in.
Actually, we won't kill her. She has survived worse than us. What we will manage to do is destroy the niche made for just us that we have bred out of existence -there are just too many of us, and no, we do not have some ridiculous "right" to procreate without discretion. That is beyond stupid.
More later, as things unfold. I am particularly fond of the area of the world affected, and find myself feeling a little too close to the subject to be totally objective.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Continued Blessings
I spoke with my aforementioned friend Gloria today. Seems my words here on line have been making the rounds at my old job. I had not intended that Gloria ever know of them; it was not my intent that she should be given reason to be startled by my reaction to her condition or for any further depression. To my own surprise, she was concerned only that her life had been portrayed in a positive light. I was at first embarrassed, because to one who has not seen the fortitude with which this woman has lived her life, from my writing one might imagine her a person to be pitied.
That is not the case, if I have misled any reader. On the contrary, I do not know if I would have had the ability to hold on through all the trials. I do not think of myself as a terribly strong person, especially emotionally, perhaps because I feel too much. I daresay I would have walked away somewhere along the line. Of course, I have not been faced with the same trials she has, thus I cannot truly say what I would have done.
I talked with Gloria for about an hour, and was drawn to something she said about looking forward to death. Most of us, at least while still blessed with good health, would think that a horrible outlook. Death is always at our side, from the moment our hearts start beating in the womb, but for some reason we view it as an enemy, when it is merely a companion. Actual death, the act of dying, seems to be a very simple thing. It is the potential of pain, I think, and the ending of this illusion we call life that we fear more than dying itself. Gloria spoke of having faith in God (she is a Christian, for a point of reference- I am Wicce.) and knowing that the One would be there to help her across the way. Her resolution about her situation was, as before, astounding. I wish it was something I could transfer to all people BEFORE something dire makes them find it.
It might help us as a species to be more aware of the limitations of this mortal life. Perhaps we would be more inclined to taking care each day to say those I love yous, to take out the moment or two to notice the beauty around us, to stop criticizing little insignificant things. Maybe we would find that missing bit of humanitarianism in ourselves that we admire so much in the selfless- like Mother Teresa.
We have the chances everyday to reach out and make someone else’s life better, if only by making ourselves a bit more approachable. For some reason, this society in particular has stopped being about the community, and become almost completely about the individual. It will be our downfall if we are not careful. I hope personally that we can learn from people like Gloria to not wait until mortality knocks on the door to collect and be just a little more at peace with ourselves, so we might spread that out to the world.
We are supposed to be an example to the rest of the world. Right now, far too much of it hates or fears us, and that needs to change, or we all lose.
Remember folks: from the Judeo-Christian writings: On earth, as it is in heaven. It is our duty to live up to that, one on one, every day.
And that’s from a deeply spiritual Pagan.
That is not the case, if I have misled any reader. On the contrary, I do not know if I would have had the ability to hold on through all the trials. I do not think of myself as a terribly strong person, especially emotionally, perhaps because I feel too much. I daresay I would have walked away somewhere along the line. Of course, I have not been faced with the same trials she has, thus I cannot truly say what I would have done.
I talked with Gloria for about an hour, and was drawn to something she said about looking forward to death. Most of us, at least while still blessed with good health, would think that a horrible outlook. Death is always at our side, from the moment our hearts start beating in the womb, but for some reason we view it as an enemy, when it is merely a companion. Actual death, the act of dying, seems to be a very simple thing. It is the potential of pain, I think, and the ending of this illusion we call life that we fear more than dying itself. Gloria spoke of having faith in God (she is a Christian, for a point of reference- I am Wicce.) and knowing that the One would be there to help her across the way. Her resolution about her situation was, as before, astounding. I wish it was something I could transfer to all people BEFORE something dire makes them find it.
It might help us as a species to be more aware of the limitations of this mortal life. Perhaps we would be more inclined to taking care each day to say those I love yous, to take out the moment or two to notice the beauty around us, to stop criticizing little insignificant things. Maybe we would find that missing bit of humanitarianism in ourselves that we admire so much in the selfless- like Mother Teresa.
We have the chances everyday to reach out and make someone else’s life better, if only by making ourselves a bit more approachable. For some reason, this society in particular has stopped being about the community, and become almost completely about the individual. It will be our downfall if we are not careful. I hope personally that we can learn from people like Gloria to not wait until mortality knocks on the door to collect and be just a little more at peace with ourselves, so we might spread that out to the world.
We are supposed to be an example to the rest of the world. Right now, far too much of it hates or fears us, and that needs to change, or we all lose.
Remember folks: from the Judeo-Christian writings: On earth, as it is in heaven. It is our duty to live up to that, one on one, every day.
And that’s from a deeply spiritual Pagan.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
On the Lighter Side of Things......
I am psychic.
Okay, now that you have snorted contemptuously out your nose at me, I re-iterate- I am psychic. So are you, whether you use it or understand the uses for it in your own life. All of us are born with a certain level of clairvoyance or such, a sixth sense, that is actually a built in survival tool. It’s that little bit of something, that if listened to, can help one avoid unhealthy circumstances. When it gets out of hand, one can become paranoid or so fearful that one will not take any chances of any kind, and frankly, that’s not living.
I have a longtime friend who seems to go through more ‘psychic ‘ events than anyone else I have ever heard of, including the famous Edgar Cayce. After awhile he starts to sound hokey, even to me, and I have had a large number of experiences that would make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. We are not talking ‘ghost stories around the campfire.’ They are bloody hard to describe to anyone who has no similar point of reference, so much of the time I don’t try. I got tired of being looked at strangely and then avoided as a teenager.
My friend (call him Daryn, obviously, not his real name) is a bi-sexual who has always been hyper. I have known him for better than 30 years now, and even before the definition of Adult ADD, he was the poster child for it. I love him to death, despite his ability to hold an entire room captive (and I do not mean that nicely) with his pure verbosity. I have seen him talk almost without breath for better than an hour. One has to figure out ways to get out of the room to get away from him, and even then Daryn has this uncanny ability to know EXACTLY where he left off as one set foot out of earshot......astounding. He should be listed in Guinness.
Anyway, this guy and his 22-year partner go through an astounding array of apparently psychic experiences, some together, some apart, but when looked at from outside the bubble of their world, almost assuredly related to both of them. They are extremely close people, were even more attached to their recently deceased dog, and are both decidedly more emotional than most guys. Daryn himself has a tremendous flair for the overly dramatic, and while he is not a liar, he can embellish very well. That is the sign of a great story teller. Too bad it is almost always self-centered stuff; he rarely can build a similar story about something outside his own world..
My whole point with this is the things he claims to have gone through. Visitations from those who have crossed over to the Summerlands (gone to Heaven for you Judeo-Christian types) are really not that uncommon. Many people will have dreams after such a passing that they do not recognize for what it is. That’s okay. To know the Truth is sometimes too much for those who have chosen a simpler life here. Not everyone needs to see the Light while they are physical. It might actually hinder what they came here for.
Daryn and his partner have had a number of visits from their dog.
Granted, not a whole lot of other creatures on this world were closer to them, and I have had cats I have had reappear here briefly to let me know they were alright on the other side. The way Daryn makes it sound, he’s the new pet psychic......
I am a bit frustrated with his need to be so very different and out spoken about that different-ness, I think. His talk about all his and his partner’s experiences makes it sound like they are the only ones who see with any clarity at all. I suspect they have had things occur, but somewhere along the line, that fish got to be a little bit larger than it was when caught. It’s one thing to have the occasional oddity in your home, and another to claim a point blank poltergeist. Such hauntings have happened, but are vaguely documented, due to the very subject matter. It is very difficult to record, measure, contain the non-physical with physical methods. I learned the foolishness of it while a “guinea pig” for a psychic research group here in town. All their machines, all their measurements, all their questions could not make what I and others do or experience tangible to someone outside of it. I don’t think the researcher I had befriended liked me gently laughing at her attempts to clarify through physical science methods something completely of the non-physical world. I think I did get through to HER, in particular, at least; she quit the company not long after I walked away from the EEG and EKG machines, the half-ping-pong balls over my eyes and the hissing BP cuff on my arm. In retrospect, it all seemed ludicrous. I learned far more from them than they ever got from anything they recorded off me.
Daryn would have convinced himself of the machines ability to capture the experience or perhaps have unconsciously affected the machines where I didn’t. I have “tampered” with a lie-detector, well enough that the examiner knew it, to my own amusement, but that was bio-feedback, not true psychic ability. I have come to believe that Daryn and his partner have got some form of connection that can cause these phenomenon , that it isn’t something from outside themselves. Such things have been documented, though what drives a person to create such things is, of course, unknown.
In my head, it boils down to the fact that there is good reason most of us do not go through such things on such a regular basis. It would be disruptive to most of our lives to have such interruptions. Maybe the belief in what they think has occurred gives these two some ground for their continued relationship- a uniqueness that only they share. I have heard of such things between well-matched couples before. My best friend and I are that way and have been since we met at age 12. I would just like to see some rational thinking I guess from a person who doesn’t come off as always being there.
Oh well. I rant. It is too hard to get a word in when Daryn goes off on his tangents. I know there is a spirit world walking alongside our physical one and that they often overlap. I just don’t think for one minute that one person gets all the messages and the rest of us are supposed to take his word as gospel. I mean, that’s where religion got its start and look at the damage that has done to our world and species.........
Night, folks.
Okay, now that you have snorted contemptuously out your nose at me, I re-iterate- I am psychic. So are you, whether you use it or understand the uses for it in your own life. All of us are born with a certain level of clairvoyance or such, a sixth sense, that is actually a built in survival tool. It’s that little bit of something, that if listened to, can help one avoid unhealthy circumstances. When it gets out of hand, one can become paranoid or so fearful that one will not take any chances of any kind, and frankly, that’s not living.
I have a longtime friend who seems to go through more ‘psychic ‘ events than anyone else I have ever heard of, including the famous Edgar Cayce. After awhile he starts to sound hokey, even to me, and I have had a large number of experiences that would make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. We are not talking ‘ghost stories around the campfire.’ They are bloody hard to describe to anyone who has no similar point of reference, so much of the time I don’t try. I got tired of being looked at strangely and then avoided as a teenager.
My friend (call him Daryn, obviously, not his real name) is a bi-sexual who has always been hyper. I have known him for better than 30 years now, and even before the definition of Adult ADD, he was the poster child for it. I love him to death, despite his ability to hold an entire room captive (and I do not mean that nicely) with his pure verbosity. I have seen him talk almost without breath for better than an hour. One has to figure out ways to get out of the room to get away from him, and even then Daryn has this uncanny ability to know EXACTLY where he left off as one set foot out of earshot......astounding. He should be listed in Guinness.
Anyway, this guy and his 22-year partner go through an astounding array of apparently psychic experiences, some together, some apart, but when looked at from outside the bubble of their world, almost assuredly related to both of them. They are extremely close people, were even more attached to their recently deceased dog, and are both decidedly more emotional than most guys. Daryn himself has a tremendous flair for the overly dramatic, and while he is not a liar, he can embellish very well. That is the sign of a great story teller. Too bad it is almost always self-centered stuff; he rarely can build a similar story about something outside his own world..
My whole point with this is the things he claims to have gone through. Visitations from those who have crossed over to the Summerlands (gone to Heaven for you Judeo-Christian types) are really not that uncommon. Many people will have dreams after such a passing that they do not recognize for what it is. That’s okay. To know the Truth is sometimes too much for those who have chosen a simpler life here. Not everyone needs to see the Light while they are physical. It might actually hinder what they came here for.
Daryn and his partner have had a number of visits from their dog.
Granted, not a whole lot of other creatures on this world were closer to them, and I have had cats I have had reappear here briefly to let me know they were alright on the other side. The way Daryn makes it sound, he’s the new pet psychic......
I am a bit frustrated with his need to be so very different and out spoken about that different-ness, I think. His talk about all his and his partner’s experiences makes it sound like they are the only ones who see with any clarity at all. I suspect they have had things occur, but somewhere along the line, that fish got to be a little bit larger than it was when caught. It’s one thing to have the occasional oddity in your home, and another to claim a point blank poltergeist. Such hauntings have happened, but are vaguely documented, due to the very subject matter. It is very difficult to record, measure, contain the non-physical with physical methods. I learned the foolishness of it while a “guinea pig” for a psychic research group here in town. All their machines, all their measurements, all their questions could not make what I and others do or experience tangible to someone outside of it. I don’t think the researcher I had befriended liked me gently laughing at her attempts to clarify through physical science methods something completely of the non-physical world. I think I did get through to HER, in particular, at least; she quit the company not long after I walked away from the EEG and EKG machines, the half-ping-pong balls over my eyes and the hissing BP cuff on my arm. In retrospect, it all seemed ludicrous. I learned far more from them than they ever got from anything they recorded off me.
Daryn would have convinced himself of the machines ability to capture the experience or perhaps have unconsciously affected the machines where I didn’t. I have “tampered” with a lie-detector, well enough that the examiner knew it, to my own amusement, but that was bio-feedback, not true psychic ability. I have come to believe that Daryn and his partner have got some form of connection that can cause these phenomenon , that it isn’t something from outside themselves. Such things have been documented, though what drives a person to create such things is, of course, unknown.
In my head, it boils down to the fact that there is good reason most of us do not go through such things on such a regular basis. It would be disruptive to most of our lives to have such interruptions. Maybe the belief in what they think has occurred gives these two some ground for their continued relationship- a uniqueness that only they share. I have heard of such things between well-matched couples before. My best friend and I are that way and have been since we met at age 12. I would just like to see some rational thinking I guess from a person who doesn’t come off as always being there.
Oh well. I rant. It is too hard to get a word in when Daryn goes off on his tangents. I know there is a spirit world walking alongside our physical one and that they often overlap. I just don’t think for one minute that one person gets all the messages and the rest of us are supposed to take his word as gospel. I mean, that’s where religion got its start and look at the damage that has done to our world and species.........
Night, folks.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Count Your Blessings
This year has been tough on a lot of people in the sphere of my knowledge- illness and misfortune have taken their tolls. It is enough to make one count the good things that have gone on in one's own life.
We really do not need much in this world to make us happy, but this country's morals have taught us "bigger-better-best" and" he who dies with the most toys wins." Neither are true.
My longtime friend Gloria's life would read like a bad (or good, depending on who you talked to) soap opera script. Everything that could possibly go wrong in one person's life seems to have been along her path. Bad karma from a past life? Just sheer bad dumb luck? Who knows.
I just know that when I talk with her, hear about her problems and hear also the peace with her own life in her voice, I am ashamed. I am ashamed of my own self-pitying moments, when I have so little to be thankless about.
Here's a small taste of this person's life. I feel it should be recorded now, because she doesn't have much more of it to go. Gloria started off her time as a mother as the result of being raped at 17. She kept her daughter Christina, eventually married, had another girl, divorced him after he abused her, married again, and had a boy. All these children were born before Gloria was herself much more than a child. After I had met her, she ended up going through yet another divorce, and started trying to raise 3 kids on her own.
Now, while single mothers are pretty common now, it wasn't so typical only a few short years ago and not a whole lot of people gave much help to such situations, and Gloria could've used it.
To cut things to a minimum, the oldest was pregnant at 15, the next girl at 16, the boy a father by 18. At age 38, Gloria could claim 5 grandchildren, many of which, due to her children's age and ab-use of their mother's good will, Gloria was either raising or at least paying the bills for. All this on a cashier's wage and little help from state-based institutions. Seems she made too much money......
As is not really all that uncommon in this city, the kids, all of whom look Hispanic, though they may not be fullblooded, got involved in gangs. Due to the presence of the Mexican Mafia down here, this can be a very dangerous proposition for anyone, and the babies with babies found themselves in trouble with law and gang people alike. Problem was, this took them away from parenting duties they were already not good at, leaving Gloria to worry about taking care of the grands AND trying to bail out her own kids. Doesn't sound real, does it? I've been friends with her through most of this.
I will leave out the love affairs and failures, the money problems and housing difficulties, the kids stealing from their own mother's bank account, after she had given them nearly everything they had.....Well, the list goes on so long, it gets mind boggling. I sometimes have to remind myself it is not fiction.
The pinnacle of this is the tattoo. Her son, a talented artist actually, learned how to tattoo during one of many stints in the penitentiary. When he got out, Gloria had him put a tattoo on her ankle as a reminder of a boyfriend who had been murdered by some gang over drugs. We have never learned all the details about Nick's death, but he meant far more to Gloria than was probably healthy. She never got over him. Now he, and her son's artwork, is costing Gloria her life.
A couple of years ago, Gloria was diagnosed with Hepatitis C- the worst of the lot and totally incurable. It took much thinking, but it finally came down to two possible sources: sex with a former boyfriend who was a needle user at one time, and the tattoo. The ex was fine- he got tested. The kid had used disposable needles.
What the kid had NOT done was the problem. As a person who has been tattooed repeatedly, I have learned about the pitfalls to avoid them. Hep C is just one reason. Her son failed to do something very simple: put a little ink in a seperate container, instead of dipping into the main bottle over and over........ It has cost his mother her life, and now that he's in jail again, he may never be able to look in those eyes again and find reason to apologise.
I talked with Gloria for the first time in many months this evening. Her liver is failing. She has gotten diabetes. There are days when she has to have help to merely get out of bed. She spends much of her time sleeping or watching TV. The girls have moved in, grown up a little and are now taking care of their mom's needs. The boy is still sitting on ice somewhere. His sister is raising his daughter, after his girlfriend was killed by gang members who hated HIM.
And Gloria's voice was calm, almost placid. I remember a sound similar in my mother's voice after she had been told it was time to make her peace and let what was going to happen happen. I believe it is called grace under pressure. Certainly, Gloria is under far more pressure than I have had to deal with yet in this life. She won't live to see 55.
It has brought her many things though. Her daughters have decided to be friends again, and are working to make sure their mother is looked after. Even the grandkids are helping without complaint. Gloria's brother, who more or less disowned her after their mom had died, has started talking to her again, and is trying to help how he can. Friends around her at work (we no longer work at the same place) watch out for her, and make sure she doesn't over do it. (Yes, to my surprise she is still working. Sometimes it is the thing that will help one get up when there might not be any other reason.) Even her ex-husband Henry has decided to be friends with her again.
Isn't it sad that it takes really knowing that a life in front of you is ending swiftly to make you drop the stupid bullshit you have been holding against someone? Why should it take tragedy for us to be able to love each other selflessly?
I will not be looking beneath the tree this year, wondering who is thinking of me when I am sitting alone in my house. I will look at all I have, the roof over my head, the clothes on my back, the food in my cupboard, and remember those I know who have done more with far less. I have more than I have ever needed, though not what it is I always thought I wanted. I would give up much of it to give Gloria another year or two of healthy life.
But I can't.
So I will share what time I have left with her as best I can, and pray it is enough.
A happy, peaceful, fulfilling Christmas to all. Never forget what you have, or who you love. You never know when thay might be taken away.
We really do not need much in this world to make us happy, but this country's morals have taught us "bigger-better-best" and" he who dies with the most toys wins." Neither are true.
My longtime friend Gloria's life would read like a bad (or good, depending on who you talked to) soap opera script. Everything that could possibly go wrong in one person's life seems to have been along her path. Bad karma from a past life? Just sheer bad dumb luck? Who knows.
I just know that when I talk with her, hear about her problems and hear also the peace with her own life in her voice, I am ashamed. I am ashamed of my own self-pitying moments, when I have so little to be thankless about.
Here's a small taste of this person's life. I feel it should be recorded now, because she doesn't have much more of it to go. Gloria started off her time as a mother as the result of being raped at 17. She kept her daughter Christina, eventually married, had another girl, divorced him after he abused her, married again, and had a boy. All these children were born before Gloria was herself much more than a child. After I had met her, she ended up going through yet another divorce, and started trying to raise 3 kids on her own.
Now, while single mothers are pretty common now, it wasn't so typical only a few short years ago and not a whole lot of people gave much help to such situations, and Gloria could've used it.
To cut things to a minimum, the oldest was pregnant at 15, the next girl at 16, the boy a father by 18. At age 38, Gloria could claim 5 grandchildren, many of which, due to her children's age and ab-use of their mother's good will, Gloria was either raising or at least paying the bills for. All this on a cashier's wage and little help from state-based institutions. Seems she made too much money......
As is not really all that uncommon in this city, the kids, all of whom look Hispanic, though they may not be fullblooded, got involved in gangs. Due to the presence of the Mexican Mafia down here, this can be a very dangerous proposition for anyone, and the babies with babies found themselves in trouble with law and gang people alike. Problem was, this took them away from parenting duties they were already not good at, leaving Gloria to worry about taking care of the grands AND trying to bail out her own kids. Doesn't sound real, does it? I've been friends with her through most of this.
I will leave out the love affairs and failures, the money problems and housing difficulties, the kids stealing from their own mother's bank account, after she had given them nearly everything they had.....Well, the list goes on so long, it gets mind boggling. I sometimes have to remind myself it is not fiction.
The pinnacle of this is the tattoo. Her son, a talented artist actually, learned how to tattoo during one of many stints in the penitentiary. When he got out, Gloria had him put a tattoo on her ankle as a reminder of a boyfriend who had been murdered by some gang over drugs. We have never learned all the details about Nick's death, but he meant far more to Gloria than was probably healthy. She never got over him. Now he, and her son's artwork, is costing Gloria her life.
A couple of years ago, Gloria was diagnosed with Hepatitis C- the worst of the lot and totally incurable. It took much thinking, but it finally came down to two possible sources: sex with a former boyfriend who was a needle user at one time, and the tattoo. The ex was fine- he got tested. The kid had used disposable needles.
What the kid had NOT done was the problem. As a person who has been tattooed repeatedly, I have learned about the pitfalls to avoid them. Hep C is just one reason. Her son failed to do something very simple: put a little ink in a seperate container, instead of dipping into the main bottle over and over........ It has cost his mother her life, and now that he's in jail again, he may never be able to look in those eyes again and find reason to apologise.
I talked with Gloria for the first time in many months this evening. Her liver is failing. She has gotten diabetes. There are days when she has to have help to merely get out of bed. She spends much of her time sleeping or watching TV. The girls have moved in, grown up a little and are now taking care of their mom's needs. The boy is still sitting on ice somewhere. His sister is raising his daughter, after his girlfriend was killed by gang members who hated HIM.
And Gloria's voice was calm, almost placid. I remember a sound similar in my mother's voice after she had been told it was time to make her peace and let what was going to happen happen. I believe it is called grace under pressure. Certainly, Gloria is under far more pressure than I have had to deal with yet in this life. She won't live to see 55.
It has brought her many things though. Her daughters have decided to be friends again, and are working to make sure their mother is looked after. Even the grandkids are helping without complaint. Gloria's brother, who more or less disowned her after their mom had died, has started talking to her again, and is trying to help how he can. Friends around her at work (we no longer work at the same place) watch out for her, and make sure she doesn't over do it. (Yes, to my surprise she is still working. Sometimes it is the thing that will help one get up when there might not be any other reason.) Even her ex-husband Henry has decided to be friends with her again.
Isn't it sad that it takes really knowing that a life in front of you is ending swiftly to make you drop the stupid bullshit you have been holding against someone? Why should it take tragedy for us to be able to love each other selflessly?
I will not be looking beneath the tree this year, wondering who is thinking of me when I am sitting alone in my house. I will look at all I have, the roof over my head, the clothes on my back, the food in my cupboard, and remember those I know who have done more with far less. I have more than I have ever needed, though not what it is I always thought I wanted. I would give up much of it to give Gloria another year or two of healthy life.
But I can't.
So I will share what time I have left with her as best I can, and pray it is enough.
A happy, peaceful, fulfilling Christmas to all. Never forget what you have, or who you love. You never know when thay might be taken away.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Tell Me
It Doesn’t Interest Me What You Do For A Living
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
For your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your sorrow,
If you have been opened by life’s betrayals or
Have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
Without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own;
If you can dance with the wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
To the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be
careful,
Be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling is true,
I want to know if you can disappoint another or be true to
yourself,
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your
own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be
trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty
Even when it is not pretty every day,
And if you can source your life from God’s presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
And still stand on the edge of a lake
And shout to the silver moon “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much
money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and
despair,
Weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or whom you have studied,
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone all by yourself,
And if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
For your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your sorrow,
If you have been opened by life’s betrayals or
Have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
Without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own;
If you can dance with the wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
To the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be
careful,
Be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling is true,
I want to know if you can disappoint another or be true to
yourself,
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your
own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be
trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty
Even when it is not pretty every day,
And if you can source your life from God’s presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
And still stand on the edge of a lake
And shout to the silver moon “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much
money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and
despair,
Weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or whom you have studied,
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone all by yourself,
And if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder
Monday, October 25, 2004
Live for Today
When you know who you are,
when your mission is clear and you
burn with the inner fire of unbreakable will,
no cold can touch your heart
no deluge can dampen your purpose,
you know that you are alive.
Chief Seattle
when your mission is clear and you
burn with the inner fire of unbreakable will,
no cold can touch your heart
no deluge can dampen your purpose,
you know that you are alive.
Chief Seattle
Friday, October 08, 2004
Spiritual Relationships
Chimes ring on my CD player, tibetan bowls played masterfully. I am playing them for one in my life who is having a difficult time. The One has apparently decided that her time is to be very short on this earth. I am doing what I can to ease her pain, whether she lives or dies.
She is Boo, my year and a half old cat.
A beautiful little tortoise shell, she came into my life as a 10 day old kitten, in the company of three brothers. I never knew who their mother was, or what happened to her. I just knew I had four children out of the blue. One boy passed over quickly, for reasons I never knew. The other three had ups and downs, but eventually grew to healthy teens. Then Boo got pregnant, long before her body was ready. All the kits ended up dying, and she got ill. Before she was fully healthy again, and before I could get her fixed because she was ill, she got pregnant again.
Those five are in my kitchen at the moment, waiting for someone to come and love them.
And their mother lies in the hall, victim to her own motherhood. She tries to come to me, to be near her only mama. She cries in her pain, much like she did as a kitten.
And it tears my heart in two.
Any who tell you that most of the One's creations are soulless know nothing of what they speak. All things that exists: rock, soil, tree, insect, animal, protozoa, ape, planet, galaxy, and all that lies between IS God.. thus they all have soul -they are all, like us, small pieces of the One.
Such is Boo to me, an extension of the Source from which I ,too, come. If the bond between us from that alone was not enough, I was her caretaker. She was my child.
************************************************************************************
As the sun rose slowly this morning, my little girl passed over to the Summerlands. Her spirit had fought as hard as it could, but the body was not up to the march. Were it not for those five expectant faces in the kitchen, I would be in a ball on my bed, wondering where I went wrong. But I have obligations, to them and to her memory. Boo was a good mama, and what she can no longer do, I must, if for no other reason than to honour her. She deserves no less.
Why is it we learn some of our greatest spiritual lessons from creatures much of the world believes to be without connection to God? For all the mentors I have had, dead and alive, for all the spiritual advice I have gotten over the years, I have learned no greater lesson than the unconditional love in the eyes of my animal friends. I wish my species could learn to be the same way.
She is Boo, my year and a half old cat.
A beautiful little tortoise shell, she came into my life as a 10 day old kitten, in the company of three brothers. I never knew who their mother was, or what happened to her. I just knew I had four children out of the blue. One boy passed over quickly, for reasons I never knew. The other three had ups and downs, but eventually grew to healthy teens. Then Boo got pregnant, long before her body was ready. All the kits ended up dying, and she got ill. Before she was fully healthy again, and before I could get her fixed because she was ill, she got pregnant again.
Those five are in my kitchen at the moment, waiting for someone to come and love them.
And their mother lies in the hall, victim to her own motherhood. She tries to come to me, to be near her only mama. She cries in her pain, much like she did as a kitten.
And it tears my heart in two.
Any who tell you that most of the One's creations are soulless know nothing of what they speak. All things that exists: rock, soil, tree, insect, animal, protozoa, ape, planet, galaxy, and all that lies between IS God.. thus they all have soul -they are all, like us, small pieces of the One.
Such is Boo to me, an extension of the Source from which I ,too, come. If the bond between us from that alone was not enough, I was her caretaker. She was my child.
************************************************************************************
As the sun rose slowly this morning, my little girl passed over to the Summerlands. Her spirit had fought as hard as it could, but the body was not up to the march. Were it not for those five expectant faces in the kitchen, I would be in a ball on my bed, wondering where I went wrong. But I have obligations, to them and to her memory. Boo was a good mama, and what she can no longer do, I must, if for no other reason than to honour her. She deserves no less.
Why is it we learn some of our greatest spiritual lessons from creatures much of the world believes to be without connection to God? For all the mentors I have had, dead and alive, for all the spiritual advice I have gotten over the years, I have learned no greater lesson than the unconditional love in the eyes of my animal friends. I wish my species could learn to be the same way.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Size Matters.
And now that I have your attention, get your mind out of the gutter! ;)
Comprehension of the size of the Universe and thus the body of the One is what I speak of here.
Saw a bit recently about a "new" piece of writing and math by Archimedes. There was some calculation he had done that the researcher said was measured by Archimedes calculating an infinite number of slices......Which is impossible.
I would have expected better of a mathematician.
Infinity, by its very definition, cannot be measured in total, as it has no end and no beginning.
How, then, is someone able to make an INFINITE number of slices in something? The illogic is astounding. Our very limitedness, our own finite existence, does not allow for such ability.
Even the use of words is limiting, implying by their usage that all things, if definable, remain also measurable. This of course, in turn, negates the very meaning of the word describing a limitless thing.
Okay, that's pretty deep. It is not, however, the basis for this entry.
Our vanity as a species, our apparent lack of humility in the face of something probably beyond our true comprehension is.
The other story that led to this was about massive attempts by NASA and the Jet Propulsion Labs to keep us from contaminating other worlds we visit. Seems some things out there in our little world have a tenacious desire to survive against all odds, and we have been sending these representatives out to planets in our own solar system and beyond. There have even been some new species of bacteria that have come into existence inside the very places trying to purge all contaminants off the equipment we are launching into space.
Fear is that we may be bringing about the greening of Mars or such by our investigation of same while things that can survive in hostile evnvironments go along for the ride. Who knows, perhaps we will find we have impregnated a new world and have to start paying some form of child support to another planet.
The stuff of science fiction at best.
We are so convinced of our own importance in the universe. Most humans cannot begin to see beyond their own front yard, be it a manicured lawn or a savannah, and see the true nature of the universe. It comes down to spirituality for me personally, but to get the average person out there thinking, I try to put it in terms they should be able to grasp. Let me tell you my story:
Imagine that your body respresents the entire universe, the unending vastness of the time-space continuum, perhaps even the very body of God. Try now to grasp this small part of yourself: there is a cell at the end of your big toe.
In that cell is a nucleus.
In that nucleus are strands of DNA.
That DNA is made up of molecules -A,T,C and G- the very building blocks of everything you are.
Each of those molecules is made up of atoms.
Each atom is made up of sub-atomic particles... quarks, antiquarks, wyrds, etc.
Our world, our solar system, dare I say even the galaxy we live on the outskirts of are smaller than a quark.
We are tinier than a subatomic particle which is part of an atom that makes up a single molecule in a strand of DNA inside the nucleus of a single cell in tip of the big toe of the One.
**************************************************************************************
Let me put this into more scientific terms for those who cannot accept the spiritual side of life.
Perspective:
An ant cannot see the whole of you. Its visual acuity is not structured for more than a small vision field. It can see the arm it is climbing over, or the toe it just got waylaid by, but it cannot see or even comprehend YOU as a whole entity.
Have you ever stood next to a redwood tree? Looking up into its limbs it is still impossible to grasp its true size. And mountains. Standing on the side of one, or at its base, far enough back to be able to see it all at once, it is not possible to tell its true size. It will always be tainted by a portion of the brain that creates delusions to keep itself sane. It does the same thing where the term "infinity" is concerned.
It is known now that from even just above our own atmosphere, only the largest of known things can be seen with the unaided eye: mountain ranges, the Great Wall of China, oceans, storms.
That ant can't see you. You cannot truly see the mountain. The mountain is barely visible from space.
Now, imagine a naval orange, sitting quietly across the street on the sidewalk. That's the sun, giver of all life to this little blue marble. And us? The earth is the period at the end of this sentence.
Our nearest stellar neighbour is five miles away, and from there, someone else might be able to discern Jupiter or Saturn, but the rest of the planets around Sol would be lost to the glare.
We are nothing but a speck of solar dust circling a much larger bit of galactic dust out in the boonies of a mediocre galaxy.
Humility is a good thing people. Remember it.
Comprehension of the size of the Universe and thus the body of the One is what I speak of here.
Saw a bit recently about a "new" piece of writing and math by Archimedes. There was some calculation he had done that the researcher said was measured by Archimedes calculating an infinite number of slices......Which is impossible.
I would have expected better of a mathematician.
Infinity, by its very definition, cannot be measured in total, as it has no end and no beginning.
How, then, is someone able to make an INFINITE number of slices in something? The illogic is astounding. Our very limitedness, our own finite existence, does not allow for such ability.
Even the use of words is limiting, implying by their usage that all things, if definable, remain also measurable. This of course, in turn, negates the very meaning of the word describing a limitless thing.
Okay, that's pretty deep. It is not, however, the basis for this entry.
Our vanity as a species, our apparent lack of humility in the face of something probably beyond our true comprehension is.
The other story that led to this was about massive attempts by NASA and the Jet Propulsion Labs to keep us from contaminating other worlds we visit. Seems some things out there in our little world have a tenacious desire to survive against all odds, and we have been sending these representatives out to planets in our own solar system and beyond. There have even been some new species of bacteria that have come into existence inside the very places trying to purge all contaminants off the equipment we are launching into space.
Fear is that we may be bringing about the greening of Mars or such by our investigation of same while things that can survive in hostile evnvironments go along for the ride. Who knows, perhaps we will find we have impregnated a new world and have to start paying some form of child support to another planet.
The stuff of science fiction at best.
We are so convinced of our own importance in the universe. Most humans cannot begin to see beyond their own front yard, be it a manicured lawn or a savannah, and see the true nature of the universe. It comes down to spirituality for me personally, but to get the average person out there thinking, I try to put it in terms they should be able to grasp. Let me tell you my story:
Imagine that your body respresents the entire universe, the unending vastness of the time-space continuum, perhaps even the very body of God. Try now to grasp this small part of yourself: there is a cell at the end of your big toe.
In that cell is a nucleus.
In that nucleus are strands of DNA.
That DNA is made up of molecules -A,T,C and G- the very building blocks of everything you are.
Each of those molecules is made up of atoms.
Each atom is made up of sub-atomic particles... quarks, antiquarks, wyrds, etc.
Our world, our solar system, dare I say even the galaxy we live on the outskirts of are smaller than a quark.
We are tinier than a subatomic particle which is part of an atom that makes up a single molecule in a strand of DNA inside the nucleus of a single cell in tip of the big toe of the One.
**************************************************************************************
Let me put this into more scientific terms for those who cannot accept the spiritual side of life.
Perspective:
An ant cannot see the whole of you. Its visual acuity is not structured for more than a small vision field. It can see the arm it is climbing over, or the toe it just got waylaid by, but it cannot see or even comprehend YOU as a whole entity.
Have you ever stood next to a redwood tree? Looking up into its limbs it is still impossible to grasp its true size. And mountains. Standing on the side of one, or at its base, far enough back to be able to see it all at once, it is not possible to tell its true size. It will always be tainted by a portion of the brain that creates delusions to keep itself sane. It does the same thing where the term "infinity" is concerned.
It is known now that from even just above our own atmosphere, only the largest of known things can be seen with the unaided eye: mountain ranges, the Great Wall of China, oceans, storms.
That ant can't see you. You cannot truly see the mountain. The mountain is barely visible from space.
Now, imagine a naval orange, sitting quietly across the street on the sidewalk. That's the sun, giver of all life to this little blue marble. And us? The earth is the period at the end of this sentence.
Our nearest stellar neighbour is five miles away, and from there, someone else might be able to discern Jupiter or Saturn, but the rest of the planets around Sol would be lost to the glare.
We are nothing but a speck of solar dust circling a much larger bit of galactic dust out in the boonies of a mediocre galaxy.
Humility is a good thing people. Remember it.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
We are never too old to learn
Moments ago, I received knowledge of myself from what I thought to be an unlikely source. A friend lent me some tarot cards based on Amerindian teachings, for me to find symbolism to put on some smoking bottles I am painting. I started playing with the cards and got a serious shock. The totem animal I drew for the "within" slot in a particular lay, whale, defined so much of who I am and what it is I am here to do that it brought tears to my eyes. Every so often in this life, when the path gets difficult, or hazy, I have received reaffirmation of what I am inside.
This one was almost a yell, and at a point in this life when I have been prone toward self-pity and anxiety about my personal future. It is not about the self, but rather the Self, and the relating of one to another. All things are connected. To forget this is to risk losing one's self. To remember is to be at peace again.
The sign posts in life are everywhere. One has merely to pay closer attention, so they don't slip past.
This one was almost a yell, and at a point in this life when I have been prone toward self-pity and anxiety about my personal future. It is not about the self, but rather the Self, and the relating of one to another. All things are connected. To forget this is to risk losing one's self. To remember is to be at peace again.
The sign posts in life are everywhere. One has merely to pay closer attention, so they don't slip past.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Right Speech, Right Living, Right Action
a few words from some friends, simple, to the point, enlightening:
FEAR produces and perpetuates:
Privileged mentality, Taking for granted
separation: dogmatic belief systems
Devaluation of life
Greed: dehumanizing technology, Enslaving people
Rights originate from the Government
Schools: operating as conditioning and indoctrination centers
Genetically altered food: nutritionless food
Dumbing down of population: Denial, Addiction, Fast Food,
Entertainment mentality
****************************************************************
LOVE Creates and Promotes:
Understanding, Free Will, and Personal Responsibility
Trust:openness among people
Respect and care for the Earth and Nature
Generosity: Availability for Service to Humankind
Rights are endowed by our Creator
Educational Process resulting in Real Learning, Critical thinking
and Individual thought
Health: energetic awareness
Discernment: Wisdom , Freedom, Creativity
GIVING AND RECEIVING LOVE PERPETUATES TRUTH
************************************
I could only add one thing to it, from Chief Seattle:
Man is not the Web of Life, but merely a strand within it.
What Man does to the Web, he does to himself.
treat Her right, people. She is the only home we have, and if we lose respect for her and do her such great harm, the only ones who will suffer in the end are us. The love comes from Her and thus should it be returned.
Namaste.
FEAR produces and perpetuates:
Privileged mentality, Taking for granted
separation: dogmatic belief systems
Devaluation of life
Greed: dehumanizing technology, Enslaving people
Rights originate from the Government
Schools: operating as conditioning and indoctrination centers
Genetically altered food: nutritionless food
Dumbing down of population: Denial, Addiction, Fast Food,
Entertainment mentality
****************************************************************
LOVE Creates and Promotes:
Understanding, Free Will, and Personal Responsibility
Trust:openness among people
Respect and care for the Earth and Nature
Generosity: Availability for Service to Humankind
Rights are endowed by our Creator
Educational Process resulting in Real Learning, Critical thinking
and Individual thought
Health: energetic awareness
Discernment: Wisdom , Freedom, Creativity
GIVING AND RECEIVING LOVE PERPETUATES TRUTH
************************************
I could only add one thing to it, from Chief Seattle:
Man is not the Web of Life, but merely a strand within it.
What Man does to the Web, he does to himself.
treat Her right, people. She is the only home we have, and if we lose respect for her and do her such great harm, the only ones who will suffer in the end are us. The love comes from Her and thus should it be returned.
Namaste.
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Anahata
The time has come for the human species to progress yet another step. We have come up from the basics of survival, to the need to people the world, to coming into some sense of self, and the craving for power that goes with it. We are only now beginning to realize the futility of that power, not to speak of its illusion. One is only in power over one's self in the end, and even that is best used in the service of others.
As we climb into the next stage of growth, we are learning much about others of our kind around the world, finding out that our true differences are few and insignificant. We are starting to see our connectedness to the very pulse of the planet we live on. We are starting to know on a larger scale that we are only a strand in the Web, and if we damage it, we damage ourselves. All this has been known before. It was merely forgotten. Now we awaken, and see we must take responsibility for our actions. We are learning compassion.
Compassion is the end result of learning to love, not through romance or desire, but through unconditional acceptance. This is not going to be an easy change for humans, evidenced by the continued wars over ideals willfully fought to this day. We must however progress. Once again, if we fail, we die by our own hand.
Anahata ,the heart chakra, lies in the middle of the chest. It is the place that becomes heavy and feels swollen when confronted with spiritual truth. It is the end to singleness and the beginning of true belonging. It is the first step along a road of enlightenment. It is time we woke up from the deep slumber of mere survival. We must grow up.
As we climb into the next stage of growth, we are learning much about others of our kind around the world, finding out that our true differences are few and insignificant. We are starting to see our connectedness to the very pulse of the planet we live on. We are starting to know on a larger scale that we are only a strand in the Web, and if we damage it, we damage ourselves. All this has been known before. It was merely forgotten. Now we awaken, and see we must take responsibility for our actions. We are learning compassion.
Compassion is the end result of learning to love, not through romance or desire, but through unconditional acceptance. This is not going to be an easy change for humans, evidenced by the continued wars over ideals willfully fought to this day. We must however progress. Once again, if we fail, we die by our own hand.
Anahata ,the heart chakra, lies in the middle of the chest. It is the place that becomes heavy and feels swollen when confronted with spiritual truth. It is the end to singleness and the beginning of true belonging. It is the first step along a road of enlightenment. It is time we woke up from the deep slumber of mere survival. We must grow up.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Update on crop glyphs
There have been some really fascinating designs this year, many of them blatantly done by humans. Not only have they left evidence, they have come out and said it. This may seem to be fodder to the skeptics out there, but I have a different angle to propose. It is hardly a a new idea, but maybe if it is said enough, it will be taken into consideration.
Maybe, just maybe the something that is the creator of the "authentic" glyphs is using humans to translate for it. After all, all the early glyphs seem to point to getting us to unite as a people. Perhaps that is the task of getting humans to do the work too. If we get down and dirty in a project, if we become involved in the work, then it becomes more personal, something we might actually care about. It becomes ours.
It is fairly easy to pick out the ones made by us. We know the language of our planet and it shows in the symbolism we choose. It is sensible that we would speak more clearly to our own kind, where as those from outside might end up being more general in their images. When speaking to a person of a different culture, for clarity's sake, it is best to keep things simple. Mistranslation has caused wars in our own past.
The point is perhaps we need to look a little closer at those glyphs made by our own. There may be reason to pay attention to what we are telling ourselves, rather than wasting time nitpicking the details of who and how it was made.
Maybe, just maybe the something that is the creator of the "authentic" glyphs is using humans to translate for it. After all, all the early glyphs seem to point to getting us to unite as a people. Perhaps that is the task of getting humans to do the work too. If we get down and dirty in a project, if we become involved in the work, then it becomes more personal, something we might actually care about. It becomes ours.
It is fairly easy to pick out the ones made by us. We know the language of our planet and it shows in the symbolism we choose. It is sensible that we would speak more clearly to our own kind, where as those from outside might end up being more general in their images. When speaking to a person of a different culture, for clarity's sake, it is best to keep things simple. Mistranslation has caused wars in our own past.
The point is perhaps we need to look a little closer at those glyphs made by our own. There may be reason to pay attention to what we are telling ourselves, rather than wasting time nitpicking the details of who and how it was made.
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Divination
In olden times, it was believed that to look into the future was to tempt the wrath of God. Scrying in standing pools of water, or casting rune sticks (they were not originally stones,) even reading the guts of some slain animal were all seen as dangerous. For some reason, people were afraid to be prepared for some possible future. They also misunderstood what most divination was really for.
When I read the runes, or put down tarot cards, I am not trying to see the future. The future can change in an instant by making a decision, so there is no true way to know what the future will definitely be. What I am looking for is a guide post: tell me where I am at this moment, from the decisions already made, the actions already done. Tell me where I am, that I might see more clearly, and make decisions that will take me where I need to go, even if it isn't where I think I want to be. That is the hardest thing to deal with when doing readings for someone else. What will that person think of what I am telling him? I often ask the person to ask the question of the cards or stones in silence. If I tell them what it is I see without knowing what they were asking, then the interpreting is up to him/her.
I have always been bothered by a reader who asks questions rather than giving answers. I have even played mind games with one or two of them to see if that one or the other could really tell me what the reading had to say. Only one or two have proven to be straight forward. To them I return when in a dilemma I cannot see clearly for myself.
I am a caster of stones. There are many forms of reading. Personally, I would say stick to the original decks of tarot and runes, and avoid all this "new age" stuff (cards based on crop circles?! If they think they know what was meant by those drawings, they should do more with it than that!). Yet, you yourself will have to see what talks clearest to you. Everyone is different. I never felt really at ease with tarot, but the stones talked to me from the first time I handled them.
You'll know when it is right.
When I read the runes, or put down tarot cards, I am not trying to see the future. The future can change in an instant by making a decision, so there is no true way to know what the future will definitely be. What I am looking for is a guide post: tell me where I am at this moment, from the decisions already made, the actions already done. Tell me where I am, that I might see more clearly, and make decisions that will take me where I need to go, even if it isn't where I think I want to be. That is the hardest thing to deal with when doing readings for someone else. What will that person think of what I am telling him? I often ask the person to ask the question of the cards or stones in silence. If I tell them what it is I see without knowing what they were asking, then the interpreting is up to him/her.
I have always been bothered by a reader who asks questions rather than giving answers. I have even played mind games with one or two of them to see if that one or the other could really tell me what the reading had to say. Only one or two have proven to be straight forward. To them I return when in a dilemma I cannot see clearly for myself.
I am a caster of stones. There are many forms of reading. Personally, I would say stick to the original decks of tarot and runes, and avoid all this "new age" stuff (cards based on crop circles?! If they think they know what was meant by those drawings, they should do more with it than that!). Yet, you yourself will have to see what talks clearest to you. Everyone is different. I never felt really at ease with tarot, but the stones talked to me from the first time I handled them.
You'll know when it is right.
Monday, July 26, 2004
It comes from the strangest places.
I spent Saturday with a cousin in Houston and his lovely wife, going to a concert in the evening.
While we were sitting in the venue waiting to go upstairs, the conversation went a direction I did not expect. I am something of an outsider in my family, the tolerated weird one, and find broaching the subject of spirituality difficult. We were all raised in a Christian-ish way, and while the family as a whole wasn't particularly out spoken about religion, or religious differences between people, some of the clan is pretty dedicated. My cousin is named Brian, and he is an organic chemist. His sister is married to a minister who started off his religious career in the Episcopalian church, but they have gone off on a more unique path, one that many would call cultish. I do not know all the details, only that I feel my guard going up sometimes when she starts trying to talk to me about faith.
Her baby brother seems to think far more like me, something I would never have guessed at or expected. That says something about how far away we have grown from one another, because there was a time when Bri and I were pretty close. Babies of the family and all. Being that he is a scientist, one might assume that he would be atheist or at least agnostic, finding the rigors of science, the hard cut-and-dried facts, failing to give any support to the notion of a creator. Quite the opposite.
I have always thought the reason I never pursued a scientific career was my understanding of the nature of God. I actually see proof beyond words of the One in the infinitely small (quantum physics) and the infinitely large (astrophysics). They are perfect reflections of each other, moving in precisely the same way. If it is merely some grand coincidence, I am still in awe. I just cannot imagine that everything known and as yet unknown could work under the same apparent method, and not have been caused by some form of intervention. It is too large for us in this physicality we live in to grasp -we are not ready for the final Truth- but that doesn't mean it isn't there. Perhaps the merest whisper is all we are meant to understand.
Anyway, Brian, during the course of a deep conversation, proposed something to me that was totally new, and tremendously insightful. It being that he works with molecular reconstruction, he has quite an understanding of what matter really is, even without being able to see some of its smallest constituents. For those who have forgotten highschool science, matter doesn't die -it simply changes shape. And matter and energy are the same thing really, one just being far more dense, or condensed, than the other. When something dies, or is destroyed, what it was on the molecular level is in essence still there. The atoms that made it up are merely free agents now, able to go onto another task. Brian proposed something about past lives and memory that blew my mind and made me laugh -not out of humour, but realization. It seems so simple in hindsight, and that is probably why it didn't occur to me before. We fight simplicity for some reason, yet admit that the simplest answer is usually the right one.
Let me expound a bit:
Molecules are made up of atoms, atoms of smaller pieces yet, called quarks (let us leave the quantum world for another day.) When a body ceases to live, its molecules and then atoms break down into their original forms, going off to form new things. Thru our consumption of air, water, plants and eventually meat and all the steps in between, we gather back to ourselves some of the atoms of our ancestors. Those people could be of our blood, or merely other people who have walked this earth. Some of our atoms are truly star dust, plunging through our atmosphere daily as meteorites of all sizes. My cousin proposed to me that past lives, ancestral memory, might be related to one form of person passing away and another being formed from what was left behind. In essence, he is saying that memory, that electrical molecular motion inside our physical brains, is retained at the atomic or even subatomic level.
There is a train of thinking in metaphysics that says all knowledge, past, present, and future is contained in a non-place, a part of the spiritual world called the Akashic record. It is available to all who can unlearn thinking patterns to access it. I once had believed it might be a physical place, a library of Alexandria for esoteric learning. I now know that it was never like that, but a way to tap back into the One and remember what has been forgotten. We choose to "forget" when we manifest here, because to have total knowledge, total understanding would make the life experiences we choose (yes, WE CHOOSE) pointless. A baby isn't born knowing everything. Life wouldn't be much fun if you already were full of fear and thus didn't want to try new directions. That is what we are here for, after all: to learn a new perspective on things, so we can take that new thought pattern back to the Source.
To get back on track, what Brian was proposing made so much sense. We are nothing more than a very amazing collection of atoms working together to a common goal for awhile. Our souls, our essence, may be similar in make, thus giving us the ability to retain knowledge between lifetimes. Now, I have a much more Buddhist way of thinking about such things. Living dharma teaches us that all things comes from everything else. When you see a cloud, and then you don't but then you see rain, you are seeing the cloud in a new form. It can become rain, or a river, or the ocean, or the tea in you cup, but it is also still the cloud. All is One.
It goes for us to. Just because my mother passed away doesn't mean she is gone. We put her ashes in the Severn River, not far from where her parents are buried. The ashes went to the Cheaspeake Bay, then out to sea, and in five years time, may actually have found their way back into the ground water in the city where I live, or where my siblings are, or even you. By drinking water at all, even "purified" in a bottle, you may have consumed a bit of my mother's atoms. Now she is part of you , as she was once part of the water. She may be making your garden bloom (she would love that.) Or she may have helped nourish the mother of your new kitten, and passed into your life that way.
And the same thing goes for all things that have been here, and will be here again.
Interesting cycle, hmm?
I think it kind of gives each of us a certain bit of immortality. We are energy, and energy does not die. It merely changes shape. Remember that, and honour your ancestors, every last atom of them.
While we were sitting in the venue waiting to go upstairs, the conversation went a direction I did not expect. I am something of an outsider in my family, the tolerated weird one, and find broaching the subject of spirituality difficult. We were all raised in a Christian-ish way, and while the family as a whole wasn't particularly out spoken about religion, or religious differences between people, some of the clan is pretty dedicated. My cousin is named Brian, and he is an organic chemist. His sister is married to a minister who started off his religious career in the Episcopalian church, but they have gone off on a more unique path, one that many would call cultish. I do not know all the details, only that I feel my guard going up sometimes when she starts trying to talk to me about faith.
Her baby brother seems to think far more like me, something I would never have guessed at or expected. That says something about how far away we have grown from one another, because there was a time when Bri and I were pretty close. Babies of the family and all. Being that he is a scientist, one might assume that he would be atheist or at least agnostic, finding the rigors of science, the hard cut-and-dried facts, failing to give any support to the notion of a creator. Quite the opposite.
I have always thought the reason I never pursued a scientific career was my understanding of the nature of God. I actually see proof beyond words of the One in the infinitely small (quantum physics) and the infinitely large (astrophysics). They are perfect reflections of each other, moving in precisely the same way. If it is merely some grand coincidence, I am still in awe. I just cannot imagine that everything known and as yet unknown could work under the same apparent method, and not have been caused by some form of intervention. It is too large for us in this physicality we live in to grasp -we are not ready for the final Truth- but that doesn't mean it isn't there. Perhaps the merest whisper is all we are meant to understand.
Anyway, Brian, during the course of a deep conversation, proposed something to me that was totally new, and tremendously insightful. It being that he works with molecular reconstruction, he has quite an understanding of what matter really is, even without being able to see some of its smallest constituents. For those who have forgotten highschool science, matter doesn't die -it simply changes shape. And matter and energy are the same thing really, one just being far more dense, or condensed, than the other. When something dies, or is destroyed, what it was on the molecular level is in essence still there. The atoms that made it up are merely free agents now, able to go onto another task. Brian proposed something about past lives and memory that blew my mind and made me laugh -not out of humour, but realization. It seems so simple in hindsight, and that is probably why it didn't occur to me before. We fight simplicity for some reason, yet admit that the simplest answer is usually the right one.
Let me expound a bit:
Molecules are made up of atoms, atoms of smaller pieces yet, called quarks (let us leave the quantum world for another day.) When a body ceases to live, its molecules and then atoms break down into their original forms, going off to form new things. Thru our consumption of air, water, plants and eventually meat and all the steps in between, we gather back to ourselves some of the atoms of our ancestors. Those people could be of our blood, or merely other people who have walked this earth. Some of our atoms are truly star dust, plunging through our atmosphere daily as meteorites of all sizes. My cousin proposed to me that past lives, ancestral memory, might be related to one form of person passing away and another being formed from what was left behind. In essence, he is saying that memory, that electrical molecular motion inside our physical brains, is retained at the atomic or even subatomic level.
There is a train of thinking in metaphysics that says all knowledge, past, present, and future is contained in a non-place, a part of the spiritual world called the Akashic record. It is available to all who can unlearn thinking patterns to access it. I once had believed it might be a physical place, a library of Alexandria for esoteric learning. I now know that it was never like that, but a way to tap back into the One and remember what has been forgotten. We choose to "forget" when we manifest here, because to have total knowledge, total understanding would make the life experiences we choose (yes, WE CHOOSE) pointless. A baby isn't born knowing everything. Life wouldn't be much fun if you already were full of fear and thus didn't want to try new directions. That is what we are here for, after all: to learn a new perspective on things, so we can take that new thought pattern back to the Source.
To get back on track, what Brian was proposing made so much sense. We are nothing more than a very amazing collection of atoms working together to a common goal for awhile. Our souls, our essence, may be similar in make, thus giving us the ability to retain knowledge between lifetimes. Now, I have a much more Buddhist way of thinking about such things. Living dharma teaches us that all things comes from everything else. When you see a cloud, and then you don't but then you see rain, you are seeing the cloud in a new form. It can become rain, or a river, or the ocean, or the tea in you cup, but it is also still the cloud. All is One.
It goes for us to. Just because my mother passed away doesn't mean she is gone. We put her ashes in the Severn River, not far from where her parents are buried. The ashes went to the Cheaspeake Bay, then out to sea, and in five years time, may actually have found their way back into the ground water in the city where I live, or where my siblings are, or even you. By drinking water at all, even "purified" in a bottle, you may have consumed a bit of my mother's atoms. Now she is part of you , as she was once part of the water. She may be making your garden bloom (she would love that.) Or she may have helped nourish the mother of your new kitten, and passed into your life that way.
And the same thing goes for all things that have been here, and will be here again.
Interesting cycle, hmm?
I think it kind of gives each of us a certain bit of immortality. We are energy, and energy does not die. It merely changes shape. Remember that, and honour your ancestors, every last atom of them.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
what is....
Esoteric knowledge.
It is those thinking patterns and information sources that usually make those in charge very nervous. This particular branch of learning not only causes, it encourages one to think for one's self. It takes away the power of the classic sciences. It questions the basis of most religious teachings, especially those that teach one must have a guide or leader into the House of the One.
It puts us as a species back in touch with the side that has never been anything less than connected to the planet of our physical origin. The spirit may not belong here, being that it is not physically manifest, but the body and the life it must lead for the short period it walks here is bound to this little piece of solar dust. Without it, we cannot exist. The foolishness of trying to send ourselves out into the depths of space to start new colonies cannot be iterated enough. We are Terrans. This is where we belong, not the face of the dead moon or nearly dead Mars. No other planet known to us at the moment is able to support us without aid from this one. The idea of off-world self-sufficiency is still the stuff of science fiction.
I digress.
Perhaps the species needs to arrive at a point where it can accept OBEs as a way to explore off world. I dare say that is several generations in the future, but one can hope. I must confess,on a personal level, that everytime I watch the news and see what humans can do themselves and the only home we have without a second's thought, I do wonder if we will or should survive.
Then I listen to some of the music that means so much to me, or gaze upon the greatest artwork we have produced, and I weep inside that this all may fall too, if we don't grow up. What will they find when we have done our worst and pass into the dust of time? Will we look like the barbarians we are much of the time, or might by chance some of the beauty humans can produce survive to sing our passing?
All this learning, all this seeking, might in the end, mean absolutely squat. The only thing it may be good for is getting the general populace to think for itself. If enough open their eyes and tell the others "in charge" to shut up and sit down, maybe our species will have a chance.
The ball is in your court people. Don't miss.
It is those thinking patterns and information sources that usually make those in charge very nervous. This particular branch of learning not only causes, it encourages one to think for one's self. It takes away the power of the classic sciences. It questions the basis of most religious teachings, especially those that teach one must have a guide or leader into the House of the One.
It puts us as a species back in touch with the side that has never been anything less than connected to the planet of our physical origin. The spirit may not belong here, being that it is not physically manifest, but the body and the life it must lead for the short period it walks here is bound to this little piece of solar dust. Without it, we cannot exist. The foolishness of trying to send ourselves out into the depths of space to start new colonies cannot be iterated enough. We are Terrans. This is where we belong, not the face of the dead moon or nearly dead Mars. No other planet known to us at the moment is able to support us without aid from this one. The idea of off-world self-sufficiency is still the stuff of science fiction.
I digress.
Perhaps the species needs to arrive at a point where it can accept OBEs as a way to explore off world. I dare say that is several generations in the future, but one can hope. I must confess,on a personal level, that everytime I watch the news and see what humans can do themselves and the only home we have without a second's thought, I do wonder if we will or should survive.
Then I listen to some of the music that means so much to me, or gaze upon the greatest artwork we have produced, and I weep inside that this all may fall too, if we don't grow up. What will they find when we have done our worst and pass into the dust of time? Will we look like the barbarians we are much of the time, or might by chance some of the beauty humans can produce survive to sing our passing?
All this learning, all this seeking, might in the end, mean absolutely squat. The only thing it may be good for is getting the general populace to think for itself. If enough open their eyes and tell the others "in charge" to shut up and sit down, maybe our species will have a chance.
The ball is in your court people. Don't miss.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Quartz crystals
I just read something that bothered me last evening. A company that sells subscriptions
to a make-it-yourself notebook had sent me some of the pages to entice me. It didn't work, because there was nothing there I hadn't learned from years of study as a Wicce and a scientist. I was, however, struck by the dangerous level of half knowledge they printed in this thing and tried to pass off as complete. A LITTLE knowledge can be a dangerous thing, especially when one believes, due to ten minutes of reading, one is now an expert.
The particular subject was about using quartz crystals. The average user of electronic things is barely aware that slivers of quartz run better than half of the things we take for granted: watches, TVs, computers, telephones,the car's electronics, and the list goes on. They are not new to humankind, having been used for a wide variety of things, not merely what is incorrectly labeled as New Age stuff. There is nothing NEW about the uses made by those who are healers. Quartz is an amplifier; it heightens and intensifies the energy being used. It does not create it. It gives strength to the one trying to aid others.
Few know about the largest crystals, known as generators. There is a huge matrix of crystals lacing this planet that help create what are called ley lines. The ley lines are in turn a power grid over the planet that can be tapped into by people. The energy gathered and transmitted through the grid can be used for a variety of things, which would take more time to discuss that I wish to take here. And again, it comes down to that bit about a little knowledge. Some things should not be learned in this manner but under the tutelage of someone already knowledgeable about the subject.
Quartz can help balance your environment, your thinking, your emotional state, but it cannot do it alone. And the thing that worried me the most was encouragement to use it to open your chakras. The power centers of our bodies should not be opened without the person being ready for what this might mean. The possible changes, especially in the upper chakras, can be devastating if done too fast or before that person is ready to except it. As Ian Malcolm said, "Science is so busy asking if they can, they do not bother to ask if they should." It goes for psychic healing as well; too sudden a series of changes in a person's emotional, spiritual or physical reality can end up traumatizing. That is not what it is supposed to be about. Learn first, carefully and in depth. Then and only then can you be of aide to others.
to a make-it-yourself notebook had sent me some of the pages to entice me. It didn't work, because there was nothing there I hadn't learned from years of study as a Wicce and a scientist. I was, however, struck by the dangerous level of half knowledge they printed in this thing and tried to pass off as complete. A LITTLE knowledge can be a dangerous thing, especially when one believes, due to ten minutes of reading, one is now an expert.
The particular subject was about using quartz crystals. The average user of electronic things is barely aware that slivers of quartz run better than half of the things we take for granted: watches, TVs, computers, telephones,the car's electronics, and the list goes on. They are not new to humankind, having been used for a wide variety of things, not merely what is incorrectly labeled as New Age stuff. There is nothing NEW about the uses made by those who are healers. Quartz is an amplifier; it heightens and intensifies the energy being used. It does not create it. It gives strength to the one trying to aid others.
Few know about the largest crystals, known as generators. There is a huge matrix of crystals lacing this planet that help create what are called ley lines. The ley lines are in turn a power grid over the planet that can be tapped into by people. The energy gathered and transmitted through the grid can be used for a variety of things, which would take more time to discuss that I wish to take here. And again, it comes down to that bit about a little knowledge. Some things should not be learned in this manner but under the tutelage of someone already knowledgeable about the subject.
Quartz can help balance your environment, your thinking, your emotional state, but it cannot do it alone. And the thing that worried me the most was encouragement to use it to open your chakras. The power centers of our bodies should not be opened without the person being ready for what this might mean. The possible changes, especially in the upper chakras, can be devastating if done too fast or before that person is ready to except it. As Ian Malcolm said, "Science is so busy asking if they can, they do not bother to ask if they should." It goes for psychic healing as well; too sudden a series of changes in a person's emotional, spiritual or physical reality can end up traumatizing. That is not what it is supposed to be about. Learn first, carefully and in depth. Then and only then can you be of aide to others.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Crop glyphs (formerly called circles)
Alright, I startled a few folks by mentioning these enigmatic little dodads on a different blogger of mine, so I will expound a bit further for my own good here.
What are crop circles?
Dunno. Astounding, dramatic, incredibly large images made by pressing down various crops without killing them. They happen in what might be seconds, at the very least has been proven to be minutes, and they contain blatant changes to the immediate area that can be detected by current scientific method. They are also mathematically perfect.
Who is making them?
Well, aside from the few feeble attempts by humans, easily discernible from the real thing, often just by looking at them, dunno.
What do they mean?
Dunno. But they are really familiar. There are times when I look at the patterns and some small thing in the back of my mind says, "I know that thing."
Why am I obsessed.
I think the complexity of the drawings, which has been increasing every year, is part of what holds my attention. Go flip through a book called Secrets in the Fields. Those pictures alone will tell you that something of intelligence is behind these things. I was fascinated by the mathematics section, especially when they proved a direct link to music. It just made sense to me, again, for reasons I cannot explain.
Someone or thing is talking to us. what is being said is still a little beyond us, no matter what some of the new age-ish folk online would have you believe. We apparently are going to have to grow into the understanding, but I am certain that eventually it will start to make sense. And maybe it is just a bunch of hyperactive teenagers from some other dimension playing a foolie on the lowly humans. I will be ticked off if that is the case, but I don't think it is.
What are crop circles?
Dunno. Astounding, dramatic, incredibly large images made by pressing down various crops without killing them. They happen in what might be seconds, at the very least has been proven to be minutes, and they contain blatant changes to the immediate area that can be detected by current scientific method. They are also mathematically perfect.
Who is making them?
Well, aside from the few feeble attempts by humans, easily discernible from the real thing, often just by looking at them, dunno.
What do they mean?
Dunno. But they are really familiar. There are times when I look at the patterns and some small thing in the back of my mind says, "I know that thing."
Why am I obsessed.
I think the complexity of the drawings, which has been increasing every year, is part of what holds my attention. Go flip through a book called Secrets in the Fields. Those pictures alone will tell you that something of intelligence is behind these things. I was fascinated by the mathematics section, especially when they proved a direct link to music. It just made sense to me, again, for reasons I cannot explain.
Someone or thing is talking to us. what is being said is still a little beyond us, no matter what some of the new age-ish folk online would have you believe. We apparently are going to have to grow into the understanding, but I am certain that eventually it will start to make sense. And maybe it is just a bunch of hyperactive teenagers from some other dimension playing a foolie on the lowly humans. I will be ticked off if that is the case, but I don't think it is.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
2012
Much talk is now going on about the coming changes and this year above is being pin-pointed. Specifically, the winter solstice of 2012 is when monumental changes of spirit are supposed to occur. There is some book out there whose spine I have never cracked that supposedly talks of the upcoming changes in great detail. I would warn all who read such things to take them with more than a small grain of salt. People who wish for positive outcomes have a tendancy to overlook the things which might stand in the way.
There will be much fear between now and then and many who, out of that fear, will try to stop the changes by whatever means they have to, even violence. Religion in general is not going to like the fact that they will be losing control over their congregations; it will come to light that we are all gateways to the One, and that is very threatening to organized religion.
Be wise and choose to whom you speak of such things with care. Not all are ready for what is to come, and not all are due to get through it unscathed. Precisely what is going to occur is not clear; it is too dependant on individual decisions along the way to be truly predictable. Anyone who has planned a party or wedding knows that the best laid plans can go astray at any point. There are some who will try to throw a wrench in to the plan, and that is one sidestep that may have to be taken along the way. Hopefully, you can see of what I speak. It will be like traveling a forest path and coming across a tree limb in the way. The only way past it is to deal with it.
There will be much fear between now and then and many who, out of that fear, will try to stop the changes by whatever means they have to, even violence. Religion in general is not going to like the fact that they will be losing control over their congregations; it will come to light that we are all gateways to the One, and that is very threatening to organized religion.
Be wise and choose to whom you speak of such things with care. Not all are ready for what is to come, and not all are due to get through it unscathed. Precisely what is going to occur is not clear; it is too dependant on individual decisions along the way to be truly predictable. Anyone who has planned a party or wedding knows that the best laid plans can go astray at any point. There are some who will try to throw a wrench in to the plan, and that is one sidestep that may have to be taken along the way. Hopefully, you can see of what I speak. It will be like traveling a forest path and coming across a tree limb in the way. The only way past it is to deal with it.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Recent developments
It is within the last 20 years that I have become aware of the changes to be discussed here. It started in a way that seems a bit odd now, but at the time I didn't question it. The mother of a former fiance of mine was into some unusual stuff, which included spontaneous writing, speaking in tongues, and what I could only call astral projection. At first I wasn't certain what to think of her, especially her over-dedication to Jesus, an obsession that bordered on fanatic. Later, after Frank and I broke up, I continued my friendship with her, and I started to find out that her life had sucked big time. Apparently her ex, Frank's dad, was a wife beater, and she turned to things spiritual to find some solace where she was safe from abuse. Frank turned into a wife beater later too, after marrying the woman he cheated on me with. He probably sensed it would not have worked on me, which was wise of him...
Anyway, Joan ended up giving me my first experiences with tapping into the Akashic record, a non-place in the etheric that contains record of all things about our world, past, present and future. Pretty much an overview of all that is cosmically due to occur here. The interesting thing is that it can shift according to our actions and reactions; in other words there is no such thing as pre-destiny. Your life is what you make it. That's the part of free will many do not like; it means one must take responsibility for the decisions one makes. The old every action has an equal reaction deal.
As I started opening myself to being "given" information from the outside, I began to have visions during meditation of a long hard journey. I "knew" I was in the position of warrior/protector, and that I was in a continuous heightened state of mind. I saw vast expanses of empty land, barren and arid, and I knew where we were to go without the use of maps. It took a few months of this before I started to see the place we were trying to get to and why we were going there. It was the children. We, meaning those of us protecting them, had recognized that these were the ones who had to be gotten to the rendez-vous point. It didn't matter what happened to us afterwards, as long as the kids got there. I talked at length to others in my life who were open to such visions and we came to the conclusion that some of the children in our immediate group must be among those due to survive. I know now that we were being hasty and hopeful beyond our learning so far. Many of those involved in it with me at that time have died or left my life, yet the visions continue. I love my goddaughters, but they are not apparently what we had thought they were. Maybe they are to be the mothers of the Ones. Time will tell. It is less than a decade away now, and those first ones are now old enough to be parents if they choose.
I see in the faces of many small children being born now old souls- wisdom on a face that shouldn't have to worry about anything more than eat, sleep, and where are mommy and daddy. They also have an identifying mark: triangles formed by the natural lines in the palms of both hands.
Not just one hand, and not a vague resemblance, but a very distinct set of triangles carved by ancient knowledge lying dormant inside them, covering most of the palm in an unmistakable way. These are the Ones, and they must survive. And I am supposed to be a guardian and guide; then my time and task here will be finished.
Anyway, Joan ended up giving me my first experiences with tapping into the Akashic record, a non-place in the etheric that contains record of all things about our world, past, present and future. Pretty much an overview of all that is cosmically due to occur here. The interesting thing is that it can shift according to our actions and reactions; in other words there is no such thing as pre-destiny. Your life is what you make it. That's the part of free will many do not like; it means one must take responsibility for the decisions one makes. The old every action has an equal reaction deal.
As I started opening myself to being "given" information from the outside, I began to have visions during meditation of a long hard journey. I "knew" I was in the position of warrior/protector, and that I was in a continuous heightened state of mind. I saw vast expanses of empty land, barren and arid, and I knew where we were to go without the use of maps. It took a few months of this before I started to see the place we were trying to get to and why we were going there. It was the children. We, meaning those of us protecting them, had recognized that these were the ones who had to be gotten to the rendez-vous point. It didn't matter what happened to us afterwards, as long as the kids got there. I talked at length to others in my life who were open to such visions and we came to the conclusion that some of the children in our immediate group must be among those due to survive. I know now that we were being hasty and hopeful beyond our learning so far. Many of those involved in it with me at that time have died or left my life, yet the visions continue. I love my goddaughters, but they are not apparently what we had thought they were. Maybe they are to be the mothers of the Ones. Time will tell. It is less than a decade away now, and those first ones are now old enough to be parents if they choose.
I see in the faces of many small children being born now old souls- wisdom on a face that shouldn't have to worry about anything more than eat, sleep, and where are mommy and daddy. They also have an identifying mark: triangles formed by the natural lines in the palms of both hands.
Not just one hand, and not a vague resemblance, but a very distinct set of triangles carved by ancient knowledge lying dormant inside them, covering most of the palm in an unmistakable way. These are the Ones, and they must survive. And I am supposed to be a guardian and guide; then my time and task here will be finished.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Opening thoughts
The world is changing.
Well, that is pretty much a given, as the geodynamics of the planet are known. What I speak of is more intimate, relating specifically to our one species. We are coming into a series of changes that will seem in the end very sudden but have in fact been on the move now for at least a couple of generations, if not many. Too many people I know are freaked out by my talking of this stuff, so I create here a forum for myself to use the words I waste on too many deaf ears. These are changes that will not be denied, and cannot be stopped. The motion has been set. It is now just a matter of how long, and how we as a species will choose to react. We can react as frightened animals, or we can show that we understand true grace under pressure. There will be a lot of pressure. If we give in to base fears, we lose.
No one may read this. That is a writer's lot in life, that sometimes, no matter how urgent your need to get it out there, something else gets in the way and you are not heard. I more than many understand that. I will take my chances and maybe touch one heart in good time. I simply can be completely silent no longer, not and live in good conscious. I hope that any reading this do not walk away feeling it a waste of time or failing at the least, to find something to think about. We must grow as a species or we die by our own hand.
And time grows short.
Well, that is pretty much a given, as the geodynamics of the planet are known. What I speak of is more intimate, relating specifically to our one species. We are coming into a series of changes that will seem in the end very sudden but have in fact been on the move now for at least a couple of generations, if not many. Too many people I know are freaked out by my talking of this stuff, so I create here a forum for myself to use the words I waste on too many deaf ears. These are changes that will not be denied, and cannot be stopped. The motion has been set. It is now just a matter of how long, and how we as a species will choose to react. We can react as frightened animals, or we can show that we understand true grace under pressure. There will be a lot of pressure. If we give in to base fears, we lose.
No one may read this. That is a writer's lot in life, that sometimes, no matter how urgent your need to get it out there, something else gets in the way and you are not heard. I more than many understand that. I will take my chances and maybe touch one heart in good time. I simply can be completely silent no longer, not and live in good conscious. I hope that any reading this do not walk away feeling it a waste of time or failing at the least, to find something to think about. We must grow as a species or we die by our own hand.
And time grows short.
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