We are so small, so insignificant, in the whole of existence, and yet so very arrogant. It takes things like this to show us our true place in the world, and yet we find ways to ignore the truth, focusing instead on the individual human condition.
I guess it is my job to remember.
I am speaking of the largest single natural disaster of my lifetime, and perhaps several before me. So far the human life toll is over 80,000 in eleven countries, and rising. The worst is yet to come too- the disease, the potential starvation, the sheer trauma of the happening.
One huge earthquake, causing one gigantic wave, has laid waste to thousands of years of culture, and even more people's lives. We have lived for so many decades with relative quiet across the face of the planet, we have forgotten that SHE is in charge, not us. We cannot stop the hurricanes. We cannot stop the floods, or blizzards, or draughts, and yet our arrogance grows. We abuse the one world we have to call home, and are startled when she strikes back. We think it "an act of god," failing to understand that any living thing will fight for its life, even a planet.
She may not move on our time scale, may not acknowledge the clocks we live by, but she is alive, in every sense. Just like any animal covered by an infestation, she seeks ways to be rid of , or at least control the creatures on her skin.
That's what we are. A group of two legged fleas, growing out of control, using our host up at an alarming rate, and paying no heed to the fact that there is no place to jump off to when we have done her in.
Actually, we won't kill her. She has survived worse than us. What we will manage to do is destroy the niche made for just us that we have bred out of existence -there are just too many of us, and no, we do not have some ridiculous "right" to procreate without discretion. That is beyond stupid.
More later, as things unfold. I am particularly fond of the area of the world affected, and find myself feeling a little too close to the subject to be totally objective.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Continued Blessings
I spoke with my aforementioned friend Gloria today. Seems my words here on line have been making the rounds at my old job. I had not intended that Gloria ever know of them; it was not my intent that she should be given reason to be startled by my reaction to her condition or for any further depression. To my own surprise, she was concerned only that her life had been portrayed in a positive light. I was at first embarrassed, because to one who has not seen the fortitude with which this woman has lived her life, from my writing one might imagine her a person to be pitied.
That is not the case, if I have misled any reader. On the contrary, I do not know if I would have had the ability to hold on through all the trials. I do not think of myself as a terribly strong person, especially emotionally, perhaps because I feel too much. I daresay I would have walked away somewhere along the line. Of course, I have not been faced with the same trials she has, thus I cannot truly say what I would have done.
I talked with Gloria for about an hour, and was drawn to something she said about looking forward to death. Most of us, at least while still blessed with good health, would think that a horrible outlook. Death is always at our side, from the moment our hearts start beating in the womb, but for some reason we view it as an enemy, when it is merely a companion. Actual death, the act of dying, seems to be a very simple thing. It is the potential of pain, I think, and the ending of this illusion we call life that we fear more than dying itself. Gloria spoke of having faith in God (she is a Christian, for a point of reference- I am Wicce.) and knowing that the One would be there to help her across the way. Her resolution about her situation was, as before, astounding. I wish it was something I could transfer to all people BEFORE something dire makes them find it.
It might help us as a species to be more aware of the limitations of this mortal life. Perhaps we would be more inclined to taking care each day to say those I love yous, to take out the moment or two to notice the beauty around us, to stop criticizing little insignificant things. Maybe we would find that missing bit of humanitarianism in ourselves that we admire so much in the selfless- like Mother Teresa.
We have the chances everyday to reach out and make someone else’s life better, if only by making ourselves a bit more approachable. For some reason, this society in particular has stopped being about the community, and become almost completely about the individual. It will be our downfall if we are not careful. I hope personally that we can learn from people like Gloria to not wait until mortality knocks on the door to collect and be just a little more at peace with ourselves, so we might spread that out to the world.
We are supposed to be an example to the rest of the world. Right now, far too much of it hates or fears us, and that needs to change, or we all lose.
Remember folks: from the Judeo-Christian writings: On earth, as it is in heaven. It is our duty to live up to that, one on one, every day.
And that’s from a deeply spiritual Pagan.
That is not the case, if I have misled any reader. On the contrary, I do not know if I would have had the ability to hold on through all the trials. I do not think of myself as a terribly strong person, especially emotionally, perhaps because I feel too much. I daresay I would have walked away somewhere along the line. Of course, I have not been faced with the same trials she has, thus I cannot truly say what I would have done.
I talked with Gloria for about an hour, and was drawn to something she said about looking forward to death. Most of us, at least while still blessed with good health, would think that a horrible outlook. Death is always at our side, from the moment our hearts start beating in the womb, but for some reason we view it as an enemy, when it is merely a companion. Actual death, the act of dying, seems to be a very simple thing. It is the potential of pain, I think, and the ending of this illusion we call life that we fear more than dying itself. Gloria spoke of having faith in God (she is a Christian, for a point of reference- I am Wicce.) and knowing that the One would be there to help her across the way. Her resolution about her situation was, as before, astounding. I wish it was something I could transfer to all people BEFORE something dire makes them find it.
It might help us as a species to be more aware of the limitations of this mortal life. Perhaps we would be more inclined to taking care each day to say those I love yous, to take out the moment or two to notice the beauty around us, to stop criticizing little insignificant things. Maybe we would find that missing bit of humanitarianism in ourselves that we admire so much in the selfless- like Mother Teresa.
We have the chances everyday to reach out and make someone else’s life better, if only by making ourselves a bit more approachable. For some reason, this society in particular has stopped being about the community, and become almost completely about the individual. It will be our downfall if we are not careful. I hope personally that we can learn from people like Gloria to not wait until mortality knocks on the door to collect and be just a little more at peace with ourselves, so we might spread that out to the world.
We are supposed to be an example to the rest of the world. Right now, far too much of it hates or fears us, and that needs to change, or we all lose.
Remember folks: from the Judeo-Christian writings: On earth, as it is in heaven. It is our duty to live up to that, one on one, every day.
And that’s from a deeply spiritual Pagan.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
On the Lighter Side of Things......
I am psychic.
Okay, now that you have snorted contemptuously out your nose at me, I re-iterate- I am psychic. So are you, whether you use it or understand the uses for it in your own life. All of us are born with a certain level of clairvoyance or such, a sixth sense, that is actually a built in survival tool. It’s that little bit of something, that if listened to, can help one avoid unhealthy circumstances. When it gets out of hand, one can become paranoid or so fearful that one will not take any chances of any kind, and frankly, that’s not living.
I have a longtime friend who seems to go through more ‘psychic ‘ events than anyone else I have ever heard of, including the famous Edgar Cayce. After awhile he starts to sound hokey, even to me, and I have had a large number of experiences that would make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. We are not talking ‘ghost stories around the campfire.’ They are bloody hard to describe to anyone who has no similar point of reference, so much of the time I don’t try. I got tired of being looked at strangely and then avoided as a teenager.
My friend (call him Daryn, obviously, not his real name) is a bi-sexual who has always been hyper. I have known him for better than 30 years now, and even before the definition of Adult ADD, he was the poster child for it. I love him to death, despite his ability to hold an entire room captive (and I do not mean that nicely) with his pure verbosity. I have seen him talk almost without breath for better than an hour. One has to figure out ways to get out of the room to get away from him, and even then Daryn has this uncanny ability to know EXACTLY where he left off as one set foot out of earshot......astounding. He should be listed in Guinness.
Anyway, this guy and his 22-year partner go through an astounding array of apparently psychic experiences, some together, some apart, but when looked at from outside the bubble of their world, almost assuredly related to both of them. They are extremely close people, were even more attached to their recently deceased dog, and are both decidedly more emotional than most guys. Daryn himself has a tremendous flair for the overly dramatic, and while he is not a liar, he can embellish very well. That is the sign of a great story teller. Too bad it is almost always self-centered stuff; he rarely can build a similar story about something outside his own world..
My whole point with this is the things he claims to have gone through. Visitations from those who have crossed over to the Summerlands (gone to Heaven for you Judeo-Christian types) are really not that uncommon. Many people will have dreams after such a passing that they do not recognize for what it is. That’s okay. To know the Truth is sometimes too much for those who have chosen a simpler life here. Not everyone needs to see the Light while they are physical. It might actually hinder what they came here for.
Daryn and his partner have had a number of visits from their dog.
Granted, not a whole lot of other creatures on this world were closer to them, and I have had cats I have had reappear here briefly to let me know they were alright on the other side. The way Daryn makes it sound, he’s the new pet psychic......
I am a bit frustrated with his need to be so very different and out spoken about that different-ness, I think. His talk about all his and his partner’s experiences makes it sound like they are the only ones who see with any clarity at all. I suspect they have had things occur, but somewhere along the line, that fish got to be a little bit larger than it was when caught. It’s one thing to have the occasional oddity in your home, and another to claim a point blank poltergeist. Such hauntings have happened, but are vaguely documented, due to the very subject matter. It is very difficult to record, measure, contain the non-physical with physical methods. I learned the foolishness of it while a “guinea pig” for a psychic research group here in town. All their machines, all their measurements, all their questions could not make what I and others do or experience tangible to someone outside of it. I don’t think the researcher I had befriended liked me gently laughing at her attempts to clarify through physical science methods something completely of the non-physical world. I think I did get through to HER, in particular, at least; she quit the company not long after I walked away from the EEG and EKG machines, the half-ping-pong balls over my eyes and the hissing BP cuff on my arm. In retrospect, it all seemed ludicrous. I learned far more from them than they ever got from anything they recorded off me.
Daryn would have convinced himself of the machines ability to capture the experience or perhaps have unconsciously affected the machines where I didn’t. I have “tampered” with a lie-detector, well enough that the examiner knew it, to my own amusement, but that was bio-feedback, not true psychic ability. I have come to believe that Daryn and his partner have got some form of connection that can cause these phenomenon , that it isn’t something from outside themselves. Such things have been documented, though what drives a person to create such things is, of course, unknown.
In my head, it boils down to the fact that there is good reason most of us do not go through such things on such a regular basis. It would be disruptive to most of our lives to have such interruptions. Maybe the belief in what they think has occurred gives these two some ground for their continued relationship- a uniqueness that only they share. I have heard of such things between well-matched couples before. My best friend and I are that way and have been since we met at age 12. I would just like to see some rational thinking I guess from a person who doesn’t come off as always being there.
Oh well. I rant. It is too hard to get a word in when Daryn goes off on his tangents. I know there is a spirit world walking alongside our physical one and that they often overlap. I just don’t think for one minute that one person gets all the messages and the rest of us are supposed to take his word as gospel. I mean, that’s where religion got its start and look at the damage that has done to our world and species.........
Night, folks.
Okay, now that you have snorted contemptuously out your nose at me, I re-iterate- I am psychic. So are you, whether you use it or understand the uses for it in your own life. All of us are born with a certain level of clairvoyance or such, a sixth sense, that is actually a built in survival tool. It’s that little bit of something, that if listened to, can help one avoid unhealthy circumstances. When it gets out of hand, one can become paranoid or so fearful that one will not take any chances of any kind, and frankly, that’s not living.
I have a longtime friend who seems to go through more ‘psychic ‘ events than anyone else I have ever heard of, including the famous Edgar Cayce. After awhile he starts to sound hokey, even to me, and I have had a large number of experiences that would make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. We are not talking ‘ghost stories around the campfire.’ They are bloody hard to describe to anyone who has no similar point of reference, so much of the time I don’t try. I got tired of being looked at strangely and then avoided as a teenager.
My friend (call him Daryn, obviously, not his real name) is a bi-sexual who has always been hyper. I have known him for better than 30 years now, and even before the definition of Adult ADD, he was the poster child for it. I love him to death, despite his ability to hold an entire room captive (and I do not mean that nicely) with his pure verbosity. I have seen him talk almost without breath for better than an hour. One has to figure out ways to get out of the room to get away from him, and even then Daryn has this uncanny ability to know EXACTLY where he left off as one set foot out of earshot......astounding. He should be listed in Guinness.
Anyway, this guy and his 22-year partner go through an astounding array of apparently psychic experiences, some together, some apart, but when looked at from outside the bubble of their world, almost assuredly related to both of them. They are extremely close people, were even more attached to their recently deceased dog, and are both decidedly more emotional than most guys. Daryn himself has a tremendous flair for the overly dramatic, and while he is not a liar, he can embellish very well. That is the sign of a great story teller. Too bad it is almost always self-centered stuff; he rarely can build a similar story about something outside his own world..
My whole point with this is the things he claims to have gone through. Visitations from those who have crossed over to the Summerlands (gone to Heaven for you Judeo-Christian types) are really not that uncommon. Many people will have dreams after such a passing that they do not recognize for what it is. That’s okay. To know the Truth is sometimes too much for those who have chosen a simpler life here. Not everyone needs to see the Light while they are physical. It might actually hinder what they came here for.
Daryn and his partner have had a number of visits from their dog.
Granted, not a whole lot of other creatures on this world were closer to them, and I have had cats I have had reappear here briefly to let me know they were alright on the other side. The way Daryn makes it sound, he’s the new pet psychic......
I am a bit frustrated with his need to be so very different and out spoken about that different-ness, I think. His talk about all his and his partner’s experiences makes it sound like they are the only ones who see with any clarity at all. I suspect they have had things occur, but somewhere along the line, that fish got to be a little bit larger than it was when caught. It’s one thing to have the occasional oddity in your home, and another to claim a point blank poltergeist. Such hauntings have happened, but are vaguely documented, due to the very subject matter. It is very difficult to record, measure, contain the non-physical with physical methods. I learned the foolishness of it while a “guinea pig” for a psychic research group here in town. All their machines, all their measurements, all their questions could not make what I and others do or experience tangible to someone outside of it. I don’t think the researcher I had befriended liked me gently laughing at her attempts to clarify through physical science methods something completely of the non-physical world. I think I did get through to HER, in particular, at least; she quit the company not long after I walked away from the EEG and EKG machines, the half-ping-pong balls over my eyes and the hissing BP cuff on my arm. In retrospect, it all seemed ludicrous. I learned far more from them than they ever got from anything they recorded off me.
Daryn would have convinced himself of the machines ability to capture the experience or perhaps have unconsciously affected the machines where I didn’t. I have “tampered” with a lie-detector, well enough that the examiner knew it, to my own amusement, but that was bio-feedback, not true psychic ability. I have come to believe that Daryn and his partner have got some form of connection that can cause these phenomenon , that it isn’t something from outside themselves. Such things have been documented, though what drives a person to create such things is, of course, unknown.
In my head, it boils down to the fact that there is good reason most of us do not go through such things on such a regular basis. It would be disruptive to most of our lives to have such interruptions. Maybe the belief in what they think has occurred gives these two some ground for their continued relationship- a uniqueness that only they share. I have heard of such things between well-matched couples before. My best friend and I are that way and have been since we met at age 12. I would just like to see some rational thinking I guess from a person who doesn’t come off as always being there.
Oh well. I rant. It is too hard to get a word in when Daryn goes off on his tangents. I know there is a spirit world walking alongside our physical one and that they often overlap. I just don’t think for one minute that one person gets all the messages and the rest of us are supposed to take his word as gospel. I mean, that’s where religion got its start and look at the damage that has done to our world and species.........
Night, folks.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Count Your Blessings
This year has been tough on a lot of people in the sphere of my knowledge- illness and misfortune have taken their tolls. It is enough to make one count the good things that have gone on in one's own life.
We really do not need much in this world to make us happy, but this country's morals have taught us "bigger-better-best" and" he who dies with the most toys wins." Neither are true.
My longtime friend Gloria's life would read like a bad (or good, depending on who you talked to) soap opera script. Everything that could possibly go wrong in one person's life seems to have been along her path. Bad karma from a past life? Just sheer bad dumb luck? Who knows.
I just know that when I talk with her, hear about her problems and hear also the peace with her own life in her voice, I am ashamed. I am ashamed of my own self-pitying moments, when I have so little to be thankless about.
Here's a small taste of this person's life. I feel it should be recorded now, because she doesn't have much more of it to go. Gloria started off her time as a mother as the result of being raped at 17. She kept her daughter Christina, eventually married, had another girl, divorced him after he abused her, married again, and had a boy. All these children were born before Gloria was herself much more than a child. After I had met her, she ended up going through yet another divorce, and started trying to raise 3 kids on her own.
Now, while single mothers are pretty common now, it wasn't so typical only a few short years ago and not a whole lot of people gave much help to such situations, and Gloria could've used it.
To cut things to a minimum, the oldest was pregnant at 15, the next girl at 16, the boy a father by 18. At age 38, Gloria could claim 5 grandchildren, many of which, due to her children's age and ab-use of their mother's good will, Gloria was either raising or at least paying the bills for. All this on a cashier's wage and little help from state-based institutions. Seems she made too much money......
As is not really all that uncommon in this city, the kids, all of whom look Hispanic, though they may not be fullblooded, got involved in gangs. Due to the presence of the Mexican Mafia down here, this can be a very dangerous proposition for anyone, and the babies with babies found themselves in trouble with law and gang people alike. Problem was, this took them away from parenting duties they were already not good at, leaving Gloria to worry about taking care of the grands AND trying to bail out her own kids. Doesn't sound real, does it? I've been friends with her through most of this.
I will leave out the love affairs and failures, the money problems and housing difficulties, the kids stealing from their own mother's bank account, after she had given them nearly everything they had.....Well, the list goes on so long, it gets mind boggling. I sometimes have to remind myself it is not fiction.
The pinnacle of this is the tattoo. Her son, a talented artist actually, learned how to tattoo during one of many stints in the penitentiary. When he got out, Gloria had him put a tattoo on her ankle as a reminder of a boyfriend who had been murdered by some gang over drugs. We have never learned all the details about Nick's death, but he meant far more to Gloria than was probably healthy. She never got over him. Now he, and her son's artwork, is costing Gloria her life.
A couple of years ago, Gloria was diagnosed with Hepatitis C- the worst of the lot and totally incurable. It took much thinking, but it finally came down to two possible sources: sex with a former boyfriend who was a needle user at one time, and the tattoo. The ex was fine- he got tested. The kid had used disposable needles.
What the kid had NOT done was the problem. As a person who has been tattooed repeatedly, I have learned about the pitfalls to avoid them. Hep C is just one reason. Her son failed to do something very simple: put a little ink in a seperate container, instead of dipping into the main bottle over and over........ It has cost his mother her life, and now that he's in jail again, he may never be able to look in those eyes again and find reason to apologise.
I talked with Gloria for the first time in many months this evening. Her liver is failing. She has gotten diabetes. There are days when she has to have help to merely get out of bed. She spends much of her time sleeping or watching TV. The girls have moved in, grown up a little and are now taking care of their mom's needs. The boy is still sitting on ice somewhere. His sister is raising his daughter, after his girlfriend was killed by gang members who hated HIM.
And Gloria's voice was calm, almost placid. I remember a sound similar in my mother's voice after she had been told it was time to make her peace and let what was going to happen happen. I believe it is called grace under pressure. Certainly, Gloria is under far more pressure than I have had to deal with yet in this life. She won't live to see 55.
It has brought her many things though. Her daughters have decided to be friends again, and are working to make sure their mother is looked after. Even the grandkids are helping without complaint. Gloria's brother, who more or less disowned her after their mom had died, has started talking to her again, and is trying to help how he can. Friends around her at work (we no longer work at the same place) watch out for her, and make sure she doesn't over do it. (Yes, to my surprise she is still working. Sometimes it is the thing that will help one get up when there might not be any other reason.) Even her ex-husband Henry has decided to be friends with her again.
Isn't it sad that it takes really knowing that a life in front of you is ending swiftly to make you drop the stupid bullshit you have been holding against someone? Why should it take tragedy for us to be able to love each other selflessly?
I will not be looking beneath the tree this year, wondering who is thinking of me when I am sitting alone in my house. I will look at all I have, the roof over my head, the clothes on my back, the food in my cupboard, and remember those I know who have done more with far less. I have more than I have ever needed, though not what it is I always thought I wanted. I would give up much of it to give Gloria another year or two of healthy life.
But I can't.
So I will share what time I have left with her as best I can, and pray it is enough.
A happy, peaceful, fulfilling Christmas to all. Never forget what you have, or who you love. You never know when thay might be taken away.
We really do not need much in this world to make us happy, but this country's morals have taught us "bigger-better-best" and" he who dies with the most toys wins." Neither are true.
My longtime friend Gloria's life would read like a bad (or good, depending on who you talked to) soap opera script. Everything that could possibly go wrong in one person's life seems to have been along her path. Bad karma from a past life? Just sheer bad dumb luck? Who knows.
I just know that when I talk with her, hear about her problems and hear also the peace with her own life in her voice, I am ashamed. I am ashamed of my own self-pitying moments, when I have so little to be thankless about.
Here's a small taste of this person's life. I feel it should be recorded now, because she doesn't have much more of it to go. Gloria started off her time as a mother as the result of being raped at 17. She kept her daughter Christina, eventually married, had another girl, divorced him after he abused her, married again, and had a boy. All these children were born before Gloria was herself much more than a child. After I had met her, she ended up going through yet another divorce, and started trying to raise 3 kids on her own.
Now, while single mothers are pretty common now, it wasn't so typical only a few short years ago and not a whole lot of people gave much help to such situations, and Gloria could've used it.
To cut things to a minimum, the oldest was pregnant at 15, the next girl at 16, the boy a father by 18. At age 38, Gloria could claim 5 grandchildren, many of which, due to her children's age and ab-use of their mother's good will, Gloria was either raising or at least paying the bills for. All this on a cashier's wage and little help from state-based institutions. Seems she made too much money......
As is not really all that uncommon in this city, the kids, all of whom look Hispanic, though they may not be fullblooded, got involved in gangs. Due to the presence of the Mexican Mafia down here, this can be a very dangerous proposition for anyone, and the babies with babies found themselves in trouble with law and gang people alike. Problem was, this took them away from parenting duties they were already not good at, leaving Gloria to worry about taking care of the grands AND trying to bail out her own kids. Doesn't sound real, does it? I've been friends with her through most of this.
I will leave out the love affairs and failures, the money problems and housing difficulties, the kids stealing from their own mother's bank account, after she had given them nearly everything they had.....Well, the list goes on so long, it gets mind boggling. I sometimes have to remind myself it is not fiction.
The pinnacle of this is the tattoo. Her son, a talented artist actually, learned how to tattoo during one of many stints in the penitentiary. When he got out, Gloria had him put a tattoo on her ankle as a reminder of a boyfriend who had been murdered by some gang over drugs. We have never learned all the details about Nick's death, but he meant far more to Gloria than was probably healthy. She never got over him. Now he, and her son's artwork, is costing Gloria her life.
A couple of years ago, Gloria was diagnosed with Hepatitis C- the worst of the lot and totally incurable. It took much thinking, but it finally came down to two possible sources: sex with a former boyfriend who was a needle user at one time, and the tattoo. The ex was fine- he got tested. The kid had used disposable needles.
What the kid had NOT done was the problem. As a person who has been tattooed repeatedly, I have learned about the pitfalls to avoid them. Hep C is just one reason. Her son failed to do something very simple: put a little ink in a seperate container, instead of dipping into the main bottle over and over........ It has cost his mother her life, and now that he's in jail again, he may never be able to look in those eyes again and find reason to apologise.
I talked with Gloria for the first time in many months this evening. Her liver is failing. She has gotten diabetes. There are days when she has to have help to merely get out of bed. She spends much of her time sleeping or watching TV. The girls have moved in, grown up a little and are now taking care of their mom's needs. The boy is still sitting on ice somewhere. His sister is raising his daughter, after his girlfriend was killed by gang members who hated HIM.
And Gloria's voice was calm, almost placid. I remember a sound similar in my mother's voice after she had been told it was time to make her peace and let what was going to happen happen. I believe it is called grace under pressure. Certainly, Gloria is under far more pressure than I have had to deal with yet in this life. She won't live to see 55.
It has brought her many things though. Her daughters have decided to be friends again, and are working to make sure their mother is looked after. Even the grandkids are helping without complaint. Gloria's brother, who more or less disowned her after their mom had died, has started talking to her again, and is trying to help how he can. Friends around her at work (we no longer work at the same place) watch out for her, and make sure she doesn't over do it. (Yes, to my surprise she is still working. Sometimes it is the thing that will help one get up when there might not be any other reason.) Even her ex-husband Henry has decided to be friends with her again.
Isn't it sad that it takes really knowing that a life in front of you is ending swiftly to make you drop the stupid bullshit you have been holding against someone? Why should it take tragedy for us to be able to love each other selflessly?
I will not be looking beneath the tree this year, wondering who is thinking of me when I am sitting alone in my house. I will look at all I have, the roof over my head, the clothes on my back, the food in my cupboard, and remember those I know who have done more with far less. I have more than I have ever needed, though not what it is I always thought I wanted. I would give up much of it to give Gloria another year or two of healthy life.
But I can't.
So I will share what time I have left with her as best I can, and pray it is enough.
A happy, peaceful, fulfilling Christmas to all. Never forget what you have, or who you love. You never know when thay might be taken away.
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