"Stripped of his questions, the journalist has no identity."
How true. It is in the self-searching that I have found my most words, and also some of my greatest misery, because I am exposed to the rawness of the human experience. We in this country in particular are taught from very early on to lust after things. It can be possessions, which never truly fill the gaping hole in the soul, or a quest for the perfect f**k, or better yet, the prince in shining armour that every guy wants to live up to being and every girl thinks she can mold out of whatever man she manages to finally be willing to put up with. Most of us end up settling for what irritates us least, and if we are very very lucky, we find someone we become friends with, and one day realize we really do love them to the depth of our being.
The above quote is from a National Geographic article about Buddhism in this world today. The basics- the release of want, desire, ambition, the self- are pretty lost on most people in the age of crass materialism. Yet...the soul still pines for a connectedness to all other things that most religions and all of everything else cannot grant. It is hard to live simply in a world that actually depends on its people living in a state of debt. If the average American could work his/her way out of debt, learn to live within his/her means, and be content, the world economy would quite literally collapse. I personally think it would be a good thing, but an awful lot of people would not.
I am a student of Sai Baba, a Hindi born teacher from India, who speaks much of the same things: the giving up of one's identity of self to gain greater enlightenment through detachment. It is really a hard path to follow, but I know it is the right one. The media blitz of everyday life teaches me over and over that I am not enough as I am, but most own more, do more, be more, or be unhappy. I am sorry to say I fall prey to this line of thinking way too much. I don't even have it in me to fight for a relationship I feel in my heart could be the one that should be for the rest of this mortal life. Part of me is so battered down with self-esteem problems, I find it hard to believe that anyone looks at me in a positive light.
Needless to say, I have a ways to go with the Eightfold Path.
I adore the Dalai Lama, in his current incarnation. He has this ability to look at all things, good or bad, and find the most positive side to all of it. I recently read the most amazing thing about one of the most horrendous acts of human rights violation since the holocaust- the Chinese invasion of Tibet. Yes, it was horrible. Yes, thousands died and many more still punished for having faith in something besides communism. BUT....and this is the part that makes one stop and think.....if it had NOT happened..... we wouldn't have His Holiness out here, talking, writing, BEING the amazing example of compassion and selflessness that he is. His world, his country was stripped away from him, and he forgave. He found within himself a level of calm that allowed him to step back and make lemonade from one of the biggest batches of lemons the human race has ever made. I know his mere presence out there has made an impression on my life. Baba has too, for similar reasons.
Now, I look for that place in myself where the questions become whispers, and eventually will become silent. I look for the point in this physical existance where I know I am one, quite literally, with everything else, everywhere, and every time, every universe. It is a tough journey, but I know it's the right one.
I hope we meet along the way.