Just when my world is becoming too self-centered, too isolated from the reality outside my door, something happens to remind me why we are really here.
I just got a call- the first in weeks- from my friend Gloria. She is dying, slowly, due to a failing liver. That problem was brought on by a tattoo done by an undereducated son of hers- he repeatedly dipped into the ink bottle, rather than use small separated amounts of ink during each new tat. Yes, I know. I just had one done, but trust me, I am aware of the possible consequences, more vividly than most of you. The artist who did the new one would not have been allowed to touch me if I hadn't trusted him.
Gloria's body temperature is below 90 right now. Working in the medical field I have learned too much, and I know what it means. Everything stops today, so I can go see her. I may not get many more chances.
The greatest of the religions in this world, and I do not necessarily mean the big ones, teach us that self-sacrifice, of time, compassion, and deed, are the motions by which we are ultimately judged in this world. And we are judged more by ourselves than others, or even the One. We spend way too much time concentrating on our wants, needs, passions, and how to fill the gaps in. We cannot seem to learn that is in interaction between ourselves and others, human or animal, that we find our greatest connection to grace. We are taught through mass media and ad campaigns to think of ourselves as the center of the world, playing up to our worst features- vanity and pride.
I am rather ashamed of myself right now, because my world does seem to revolve around only me and my immediate world. I prefer to work on a more local level, but I think I understand now why my mom used to volunteer at various things. It wasn't to build up her own self-esteem. It was to help others out of whatever they were caught in, just by offering a hand. It isn't a tick mark in your favour for the judgement day- it is the true compassion we claim to be looking for. It isn't a ticket to get you into god's good side, it isn't about self satisfaction or reward, it isn't even about a pat on the back. It is what you do, because you know deep in your heart it should be done.
and I need to go do it.
Our society doesn't teach selflessness. We are lucky to every now and again have one who does understand it come through and show us what it is about. There is a peace brought by such action that can come from no where else. i think each of us could afford in this country to look well at what we do, and why, and maybe set about to adjust those percentages in favour of a less self-centered life.
There are people out there, like Gloria, who could use a hand to hold, a person to talk to, 'cos that's about all they have left.
Do you have it in you?